_stella_

Hey all. So my fourth of July sucked hardcore! I sat at home all night by myself because i was sick. I was supposed to hang out with my big sis Delores but nooo...I felt like shit. I didn't even see any fireworks. And I mean NONE!!! It was the worst fourth of July ever.

To make things worse on a whole, I have been amd depressed lately. I feel like I am totally alone. Aside from my sis and my friend Alex...I feel like I have no one to turn to. Then there's the boy situation...Since Steven found out about me and Chris, he hasn't said more than 5 words to me. he is being all stand-offish and barely even says hi anymore. It's fucking sad. Plus, the people at work are being shitty about the whole situation too. They look at me funny and i can tell a lot of them are tlaking shit. And yet all the while Chris gets treated the same. No one is doing that to him. It's fucking bullshit. All we did was have sex for God's sake! I mean it's not like I took advantage of him or he took advantage of me. We were two consenting people and yet I get treated like I made the mistake on my own. It takes two fucking people and just cuz he had NO idea what he was doing doesn't mean I am the one who should be ostracized. It's a prime example of a double-standard plaguing today's society. Im not saying he's getting props just cuz he's a guy, I mean it could be that they expect it from me because I am an extrovert and i am outgoing. But just because I talk about sex and am comfortable with my sexuality doesn't mean he's not capable of having sex too. (I dunno if i'd say he was very capable since he was like a fish out of water but that's another story!) I don't fucking know but it's getting to be something that's really bothersome to deal with at work. Uugghh!!!! I am so frustrated.