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_stella_

Hammond, Indiana

Member Since 2005

Followers 28 Following 27

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Sunday Oct 30, 2005

Oct 30, 2005
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If you listen carefully, you can hear my heart breaking as I write this.....

"The one u love isn't supposed to make u cry...he should be drying my tears not creating them."


I had a moment of deep introspection and came up with that quote while talking with ReverendIJS tonite. I haven't updated in a while. Basically life is shit right now. I'm trying to work through all of it but I find myself stuck. Everything is crap right now. My parents and I keep fighting about me goin to Cali. They don't think I can do it. I don't think they realize I'm goin no matter what they say.
College. It's a difficult process to prepare for. I am gonna do it, I am gonna go to Golden West, it's just taking lots of baby steps. But dammit I'll make it.
Delores, my lovely sister is sick. I feel bad! I love u D, hope u feel better soon.
Work totally sucks ass right now. There is basically a civil war goin on between "the kids" and "the adults". It's all such bullshit. I don't get why people can't just suck it up, go to work, do their job not fuck with anybody and just go home. Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is...
Kyle is breaking my heart day by day. He finds ways to put it back together then just as easily drops it and breaks it again. I don't understand him. He can be the most amazing guy sometimes and then others he is a fucking retard! I am so torn. I love him so fucking much it makes me sick. I love everything about him. I love his smile, the way his eyes light up when he wears blue, the way his hairs curls under his hat, the way he looks into my eyes, the way he holds me. But I hate that I love him with all my heart and he can't see that...

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