Rimming a tramp or sucking off a pony? Trying to decide which was better was just one of many dumb convos i had with my new buddy. (We decided between us that bth was better than listning to the Rasmus...sorry to all fans).
It's kinda weird, i'm not the sorta guy who has this huge group of friends, don't get me wrong, i pretty much get on with everybody unless they're a total c**t-rag but i'm not a friend maker...besides, where the fuck do you meet friends?
All my friends is the history of my 21 years have been from work/school and i'm really fucking shit at keeping in touch. Like, i found out via proxy that one of my best buddies from my old job (who i did just about keep in contact with) is in Australia with some chick. I mean, wtf?!
And as for friends from school, well whe i got out of smoking dope and drinking vodka whilst sitting in a park like a tramp, they didn't...and i didn't really want to be part of that scene anymore. Drug free for 5 years and counting.
So the basic jist of things is that i am a complete social introvert...broke and pretty much unwilling to leave my house once it's dark...in my shitty part of town, getting stabbed is getting off lightly! anyway, they're all excuses...ultimately, i can't be fucked.
So i have kinda have an amount of friends you could count on one hand if someone cut two fingers off.
There's my lovely lady who's been with me for 4 n' a half years today! she is like my best friend, 'cept talking about things like "Shit man, did you see the tits on her" don't go down to well.
Then there's my main man, I'll just call him Gwarnmaster...long fucking story...anyway's, he's just about as socially inept as me but we talk about shit...i mean real shit. Mostly movies but the convo usually drifts onto dwarves or chiwauwas or some shit like that. Well he's currently in the land of the rising sun and, if he's doing as i said, have a fucking great time and buying my some used school-girl panties out of a vending machine.
And there's this new chick. She looks like a suicidegirl in training which is obviously awesome and she likes slasher movies and punk music and goes to gigs and she talks about disgusting things like rimming tramps and busting into farms to...well, read the top line. The sort of shit that i think about and would crack distasteful jokes about if any fucker was prepared to listen without calling the cops.
Well anyway, don't really know if there is any direction of this journal entry...fuck man, it's a journal, i'm journalising...i guess what i'm trying to say is...she;s cool...and, i dunno, maybe with her help i may no longer be a 30 year old trapped inside a 21 year olds body...i swear to god, by 25 i'll have a pony tail, drive a mazda and marry a 16 year old glamour model...and by 30 i'll be dead in a puddle of my own piss and vomit.
Top 7 things to do instead of listening to the Rasmus:
7. Suck off a pony
6. Get butt fucked by a pig
5. pierce your ear drums
4. cut off your toes
3. set fire to your eyelashes
2. Get infected with crabs
1. Rim a vagrant
It's kinda weird, i'm not the sorta guy who has this huge group of friends, don't get me wrong, i pretty much get on with everybody unless they're a total c**t-rag but i'm not a friend maker...besides, where the fuck do you meet friends?
All my friends is the history of my 21 years have been from work/school and i'm really fucking shit at keeping in touch. Like, i found out via proxy that one of my best buddies from my old job (who i did just about keep in contact with) is in Australia with some chick. I mean, wtf?!
And as for friends from school, well whe i got out of smoking dope and drinking vodka whilst sitting in a park like a tramp, they didn't...and i didn't really want to be part of that scene anymore. Drug free for 5 years and counting.
So the basic jist of things is that i am a complete social introvert...broke and pretty much unwilling to leave my house once it's dark...in my shitty part of town, getting stabbed is getting off lightly! anyway, they're all excuses...ultimately, i can't be fucked.
So i have kinda have an amount of friends you could count on one hand if someone cut two fingers off.
There's my lovely lady who's been with me for 4 n' a half years today! she is like my best friend, 'cept talking about things like "Shit man, did you see the tits on her" don't go down to well.
Then there's my main man, I'll just call him Gwarnmaster...long fucking story...anyway's, he's just about as socially inept as me but we talk about shit...i mean real shit. Mostly movies but the convo usually drifts onto dwarves or chiwauwas or some shit like that. Well he's currently in the land of the rising sun and, if he's doing as i said, have a fucking great time and buying my some used school-girl panties out of a vending machine.
And there's this new chick. She looks like a suicidegirl in training which is obviously awesome and she likes slasher movies and punk music and goes to gigs and she talks about disgusting things like rimming tramps and busting into farms to...well, read the top line. The sort of shit that i think about and would crack distasteful jokes about if any fucker was prepared to listen without calling the cops.
Well anyway, don't really know if there is any direction of this journal entry...fuck man, it's a journal, i'm journalising...i guess what i'm trying to say is...she;s cool...and, i dunno, maybe with her help i may no longer be a 30 year old trapped inside a 21 year olds body...i swear to god, by 25 i'll have a pony tail, drive a mazda and marry a 16 year old glamour model...and by 30 i'll be dead in a puddle of my own piss and vomit.
Top 7 things to do instead of listening to the Rasmus:
7. Suck off a pony
6. Get butt fucked by a pig
5. pierce your ear drums
4. cut off your toes
3. set fire to your eyelashes
2. Get infected with crabs
1. Rim a vagrant