We're settled the fuck in.
About fucking time.
There must be some tiny speck of irony hidden in, perhaps even underlining, the fact that the day I get broadband the net breaks in two. Thank you Sasser worm.
Now sit back, relax, grab a beer and pull a chair up to the fireplace; it's storytime.
A lovely local restaurant, McDonald's that is; perhaps you even have one in your area, dishes out wonderful little toys for children with their Happy Meals. For the past few weeks they've been handing out little stuffed puppies with each of their little 4pc nugget boxes of love, to which I hand over to the oh-so-impressionable three year old that follows me around.
You think this story is nice and heartwarming, yes? Man feeds child a Happy Meal, smiles all around. No, I find a way to be devious in every aspect of life.
So we receive German Shepard and Cocker Spaniel our first two runs in the drive through; third run produces the bastard offspring of Benji and Lassie so I'll leave that one out. Now that we're armed and dangerous, it's time put my plan into action.
Austin, my 3 yr old weapon of choice, armed with McD's evil little puppies, enters my parents kitchen... I'll let the dialog take over from here.
About fucking time.
There must be some tiny speck of irony hidden in, perhaps even underlining, the fact that the day I get broadband the net breaks in two. Thank you Sasser worm.
Now sit back, relax, grab a beer and pull a chair up to the fireplace; it's storytime.
A lovely local restaurant, McDonald's that is; perhaps you even have one in your area, dishes out wonderful little toys for children with their Happy Meals. For the past few weeks they've been handing out little stuffed puppies with each of their little 4pc nugget boxes of love, to which I hand over to the oh-so-impressionable three year old that follows me around.
You think this story is nice and heartwarming, yes? Man feeds child a Happy Meal, smiles all around. No, I find a way to be devious in every aspect of life.
So we receive German Shepard and Cocker Spaniel our first two runs in the drive through; third run produces the bastard offspring of Benji and Lassie so I'll leave that one out. Now that we're armed and dangerous, it's time put my plan into action.
Austin, my 3 yr old weapon of choice, armed with McD's evil little puppies, enters my parents kitchen... I'll let the dialog take over from here.
Austin: "Look! I got puppies!"
Parental1: (warm loving smiles) "Wow! What's their names?"
A: (holds up German Sheppard) "His name is Hitler!"
P1: *gasp*
A: (holds up Cocker Spaniel) "This is Mussolini!"
P2: *gasp*
A: (holds up Bastard puppy) "This is Puddles!"
P1&P2: *glare at me*
Me: Hey, tomorrow we're gonna try for Stalin the Siberian Husky.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
oninotaki:
Thats some funny shit! 
doctashock:
My need to get back on a film set is at the point of crisis. 