HELLO ALL.
IT'S 2009!
"Surely not", I hear you ask. Well, all you doubting-Thomases, look at your calendar. If there's one thing that is true, it's that it most definitely
is 2009.
Apart from that, everything else gets a touch hazier, but on we march.
First of all, everyone listen to
this. I've been going back to my prog rock love and forgot how good this song is. Give it some time and get into it.
So what's new in 2009...
Okay, well to get it out of the way, a catch up on the 'mad' stuff for anyone who cares.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Well it seems I'm finally going to be diagnosed after months of seeing people. I have a referral to see the psychiatrist for a full formal diagnosis, but I have seen the psychiatris nurse who basically says that he doesn't have any doubt that I have a disorder somewhere on the bipolar spectrum but he didn't think it was appropriate to place me for definite so he's leaving that for when I see the psychiatrist. I found it really weird to start with, which is odd in itself because I kind of saw it coming, but I dunno. It's sinking in. I'm going to be going on anti-depressants from the start of next week, so hopefully that'll sort me out. They normally prescribe mood stabilisers for bipolar rather than mood enhancers but I can't get them until I've had an official diagnosis so this is just in the mean time.
I also told my best friend about it all which was a really nice feeling, because I'd felt bad about not telling her this whole time so it was getting something pretty major off my chest. It was amazing to be able to talk about it and even laugh about it ("So, you're actually a mental... I always thought so...") and she said that I shouldn't worry about what everyone thinks because whether I have it or not then I'm still the same person and all that. It went as well as it could've done anyway.
I've still been having really bad lows, but also had a few up days last week that were epic-good.
And in other news...
I bought a diary. I'm looking forward to using it. Haven't had one for a couple of years but it was nice when I did. It's a big old A4 one which I'm just going to go mental with, jot down ideas, doodles, reminisces, fleeting moments of inspiration, and the rest. I'm actually quite excited about it, as nerdy as that might sound!
Been having some fun ideas so we'll see where they go. I'm in pre-production for an animated music video I'm making, making way with my script and planning a mostly improvised film I'm going to make soon. Funfunfun.
Uh anyway I thought I had more to say but I guess I'll leave it here beucause everything I think of writing is boring me rigid...!
I'm watching Being John Malkovich, I'd forgotten how insanely good it is.
Much love.
xxxx
