_matt_

**so my post really pissed off the ex-girlfriend. I'm still not exactly sure why. I don't think I really said anything blatantly bad. It doesn't even make sense, but now she refuses to talk to me all together. It's probably for the best though. At least this will help to make me stop thinking about her. I was drasticaly infatuated with her and had a hard time letting go and letting new women into my life, which there have strangly been a few in this short time, that I have tried to allow in. The relationship I had hurt me alot and made me put up quite a few walls. Maybe the next time I will guard my heart a little bit better and do some things differently.

Looking back I can see how some of the things I did would upset her, but I will not sit here regretting any of my decisions. All things apparently happen for a reason. Although I would have loved to spend more of my life with her, it is readily apparent that she was not and is not the woman for me. Everything started out fine, but as the weeks rolled on each of us found out the finer points of our personalities and began to grate on each other. It is rather unfortunate that it ended the way it did and became what it is today, because she showed me so many new things, so many new things, that I wanted to countinue to have in my life. And now those aspects are ripped drasticaly away from me forever and I have to seek them else where. There are many fish in the sea, but I am not so sure if I am ready to get back on the boat. I am a hurt soul. Wounded by the heat of her presence and I masochisticaly loved every single second of it.