SPOILERS! (Click to view)Sometimes the shadow keeps her awake at night. The clicking of her nails being removed by her teeth is matched by the pounding of her heart. Mistakes are piled in one corner and doubts shoved in the other. She digs through each finding ways to donate them to her new found misfortune. She has been single for nearly a year, and recently met a new friend. New love. New love ignites every ulcer she ever had. How can it be that the awkward bumbling girl with the small hands and bad skin could possibly have caught his eye. She lights a smoke and continues to create all the possibilities of why this will fail. She paces her room sipping Merlot from a jelly jar. The smell of coconut is mixed with patcholi on her warm, exhausted skin. Putting out the smoke, sipping the last of her wine, she gives into slumber.
Darkness fills his room. Only the light of his computer remains. He stares at the pictures of the women he craves, occasionally returning to the girl. The new girl. She is not like the rest. She is quick, she is shy. Something is sensual about almost everything she does. Her mouth moves in a pace that makes it hard for him not to think of it on his neck, or even more, on his cock. He goes back to the videos of his dream girls, but all he can do is picture her. She is killing him. He is not to be distracted these days. New things are happening in his life. He is also quite comfortable in his routine of drinking and fucking himself to sleep. He calls her. Her voice mail picks up. The whiskey soaked voices soothes him. She will break him, he thinks. However, she is not done breaking herself.
Sooo. My birthday is creeping up, twenty days my friends 
I usually do not care about it too much, but this time I will be spending it in Las Vegas. Then returning home for a few days off with my mister before he leaves me to go home to see his family, and go to a wedding for a few days. Agh! Ten days without him..grr, it will be like old times. Except I will be home, and he will be coming back to me. I swear I won't do anything creepy like wear his clothes while he is gone or anything... 
We saw Wall-E last night. It was incredible, beautiful, funny..*sigh* I cried a lot. And then Peter Gabriel does the end credit music, so I cried harder.. We went for a walk around UCLA, and then went and saw Hancock. Not horrible as far as summer blockbusters go, and hell, anytime I get to see 
I am pretty much there. Christ, what I wouldn't do to have a quarter of the looks she has.
So today I am off, not sure what the plan will be for the day. I am just pleased to be able to be home.
You are loved, my friends.
And I could use a second helping of the message and simple escapism.