_j0shua_

But I feel like I've already been there. I feel like over and over I lose everything.

I feel as though I do know who and what I am however, I always get lost in life.

I'm a people pleaser, or I was - maybe I still am. I don't necessarily get caught up if I'm not what other people (friends, family etc) want me to be.

However, I want to be successful. There is something in me that needs to be the best when I'm at work. i always have goals relating to my job. Probably because I've done so many things that I always start at entry level and then I just work my ass off to get to something that I can be proud of?

And I feel like that's one HUGE part of my problem with life, is that I love art, I went to school for it. I need to have a creative job however, there isn't much you can do with a fine arts degree so I end up doing office jobs, I've done customer service which made me want to kill myself, I've done fraud investigation, and now I work in Telco?!?!

All of these jobs for these huge companies who couldn't care less about their employees for the most part or their customer but are insane about politics. My boss has like taken it upon himself to "help" me - to mold me into something. But...that's left me just pretending. He's a great guy, I know he thinks he's going a good thing for me but every single day I walk into that place where I have no real connections with anyone and I pretend to be someone I'm not because that's what my job demands of me.

.....*shrugs

I dunno - but thank you for writing what you did. I had written this huge ass long post actually explaining things. I feel like your answer would have been different if you had read it.