Heya foks,
That day came and went this week. That day where everything changes. All the aspirations of an optimistic and youthful life fizzle away in the few instants that it takes to wake up and realize that it's a new day. I, of course, stayed as quiet about it as I could. Rebehka was the only one who brought it to light. I don't think it was due to a lack of consideration. She probably thought she was being nice. One would think that the passing of a day doesn't really change anything through the act of just passing. We tell ourselves that time is just an imaginary notion created by humanity's lack of higher understanding. People convince each other that numbers are limits that we place on ourselves; and that if we really wanted to we could break free of the tethers they use to bind us to reality. But in society, numbers matter. And to be a human in these times means to be a social creature. Even if you don't agree with modern society, you still have to deal with it and its unwritten rules. A person would go insane by trying to encapsulate themselves away from absolutely everyone. So I'll concede defeat to the passing of time. I will rearrange my priorities and goals. I will start acting and talking and dressing appropriately. I will dissuade myself from believing I can have an impact on the world, and I will patiently wait for death.
Gaming Rig Update:
I bought a few new fans for the motherboard and case. I also got a Mic (which doesn't work too good, by the way) and I ordered 2 gigs of RAM which should be delivered within the next few days. I have been entertaining the notion of buying a new Monitor. Maybe even running two of them out of the PC. We'll see about that. I have decided to hold off a couple of months on the processor that I want due to some internal information that I can't reveal on this site. However, I plan to aquire an older model to hold me off in the meantime. I can get it free from work, so there is no risk as far a money goes, it only delays the final design for a little while.
The closer I get to putting this computer together the more anxious and impatient I get. I did not originally plan to have this many components so soon, so really I should just chill out.
Mardi Gras:
Well... Tuesday night could have been better than it turned out to be. I have no one but myself to blame. You see.. what happened was that Craig was broke because business has been real slow at his job. But I was so sick of seeing him stay home all the time that I decided to foot his drinks. Unfortunately, I overestimated his tolerance so I kinda made him drink more than he could handle. For most of the night we were both having a real good time, there were a lot of real pretty and very friendly girls at Sugar Daddy's. I can't even count how many I danced with. But just when things were going the best, I looked around and couldn't see Craig. So I looked all over the bar and the patio and the dance floor, and he was nowhere to be found. I think I was on my way to look for him in the restroom when I got this call and sure enough...
"Hey, Man... I got kicked out... I am sorry, Man"
Like I said. I have no one to blame but myself. I poured a shot of Jager, a shot of Jack and two and a half Hurricane Beer Bongs into him in about the space of 1 and a half hours. So we ended up coming home earlier than expected. Not that we didn't have a good time. Just that it could have been better if I hadn't been stupid.
Other updates:
- I have finished sanding the pieces of my desk. I will begin staining them this weekend.
- I am going shopping on Monday or maybe tomorrow. I need some new running shoes and a new outfit. (Don't sass me for using the word 'outfit', 'suit' is just too formal for what I am looking for.)
- I guess those are all the updates I have. Damn I am boring.
On a side note. This site made me angry today. I am seeing this as being seriously unhealthy. I think I've explained before how easy it is for me to become attached to things and people. I have a bad habit of getting to care about people whom I hardly know. That is what's starting to happen here. An injustice was comitted against someone. When I read about it, I became so angry that I began shaking. I spent a good half hour pacing around the house cursing and tossing things around. I think that most of the rage stems from feeling so helpess to do something about it. Most of my friends here are halfway around the world and when they need someone to hold them or get them drunk or just spend the day with them, I am completely useless. I shouldn't let myself get so worked up over people on the internet. I know they are real people, but I shouldn't let them become real to ME. This is supposed to be just for fun.
Anyway. That is all.
That day came and went this week. That day where everything changes. All the aspirations of an optimistic and youthful life fizzle away in the few instants that it takes to wake up and realize that it's a new day. I, of course, stayed as quiet about it as I could. Rebehka was the only one who brought it to light. I don't think it was due to a lack of consideration. She probably thought she was being nice. One would think that the passing of a day doesn't really change anything through the act of just passing. We tell ourselves that time is just an imaginary notion created by humanity's lack of higher understanding. People convince each other that numbers are limits that we place on ourselves; and that if we really wanted to we could break free of the tethers they use to bind us to reality. But in society, numbers matter. And to be a human in these times means to be a social creature. Even if you don't agree with modern society, you still have to deal with it and its unwritten rules. A person would go insane by trying to encapsulate themselves away from absolutely everyone. So I'll concede defeat to the passing of time. I will rearrange my priorities and goals. I will start acting and talking and dressing appropriately. I will dissuade myself from believing I can have an impact on the world, and I will patiently wait for death.
Gaming Rig Update:
I bought a few new fans for the motherboard and case. I also got a Mic (which doesn't work too good, by the way) and I ordered 2 gigs of RAM which should be delivered within the next few days. I have been entertaining the notion of buying a new Monitor. Maybe even running two of them out of the PC. We'll see about that. I have decided to hold off a couple of months on the processor that I want due to some internal information that I can't reveal on this site. However, I plan to aquire an older model to hold me off in the meantime. I can get it free from work, so there is no risk as far a money goes, it only delays the final design for a little while.
The closer I get to putting this computer together the more anxious and impatient I get. I did not originally plan to have this many components so soon, so really I should just chill out.
Mardi Gras:
Well... Tuesday night could have been better than it turned out to be. I have no one but myself to blame. You see.. what happened was that Craig was broke because business has been real slow at his job. But I was so sick of seeing him stay home all the time that I decided to foot his drinks. Unfortunately, I overestimated his tolerance so I kinda made him drink more than he could handle. For most of the night we were both having a real good time, there were a lot of real pretty and very friendly girls at Sugar Daddy's. I can't even count how many I danced with. But just when things were going the best, I looked around and couldn't see Craig. So I looked all over the bar and the patio and the dance floor, and he was nowhere to be found. I think I was on my way to look for him in the restroom when I got this call and sure enough...
"Hey, Man... I got kicked out... I am sorry, Man"
Like I said. I have no one to blame but myself. I poured a shot of Jager, a shot of Jack and two and a half Hurricane Beer Bongs into him in about the space of 1 and a half hours. So we ended up coming home earlier than expected. Not that we didn't have a good time. Just that it could have been better if I hadn't been stupid.
Other updates:
- I have finished sanding the pieces of my desk. I will begin staining them this weekend.
- I am going shopping on Monday or maybe tomorrow. I need some new running shoes and a new outfit. (Don't sass me for using the word 'outfit', 'suit' is just too formal for what I am looking for.)
- I guess those are all the updates I have. Damn I am boring.
On a side note. This site made me angry today. I am seeing this as being seriously unhealthy. I think I've explained before how easy it is for me to become attached to things and people. I have a bad habit of getting to care about people whom I hardly know. That is what's starting to happen here. An injustice was comitted against someone. When I read about it, I became so angry that I began shaking. I spent a good half hour pacing around the house cursing and tossing things around. I think that most of the rage stems from feeling so helpess to do something about it. Most of my friends here are halfway around the world and when they need someone to hold them or get them drunk or just spend the day with them, I am completely useless. I shouldn't let myself get so worked up over people on the internet. I know they are real people, but I shouldn't let them become real to ME. This is supposed to be just for fun.
Anyway. That is all.
bearnked:
I <3 you jb!!! 