_indica

Me n the Bf have decided to move to Seattle! Well kinda Seattle kinda Ocean Shores... My grandma who has cancer is there now for Chemo and has no one with her. She is really nervous bout the drive to Seattle once a week so we are going to go help take care of her.

My mind is uneasy these last couple days, dark inner storm clouds... Im not feeling so great bout things...

Like just now, I'm looking through old videos the boy sent me, ahhh, do i love naughty videos... but things have changed between us... He thinks its cause were too serious... not enough boyfriend girlfriend and too much husband wife...which I understand, but I have no idea how to change that. Circumstance and decisions in the past have made us this close, and this is the only way I know how to be.

I know the expectations of a husband shouldn't be placed on him...so I try not to...but in his worry about taking care of his not wife... I feel like he has lost all desire for me. The hunger I saw in his eyes, that shines in all his old videos that were sent to me, is gone. Now all we are left with, is the hard part of life. Where did our fun sides go? How do we find them? Every time I try to turn him on, I feel like an even bigger failer, n all he does is push my hand away...