Ahhh... Today sucks, so very much. So much to inform you all in, Sorry i havent been on at all lately, its hard when your internet gets cut... yeah n I havent really had a car so omg did i tell you how much i hate being indoors.... Fuck i hate it.
First off Im working again so thats another reason Ive been busy n while the money is amazing n it feels so nice to be able to buy whatever i need, sometimes i wonder if its worth the pain... My bfs mom is my boss n while it was supposed to be a partnership, it was easy for her to fire me the minute we ran low on business... aaaaaand then ask me to work when it picked up again, im not a fucking yoyo but i do suffer from workaholism so its a hard balance for me... i dont know what to do... i could get a job in five minutes if i tried in this town... honestly...
My bf n i got into it last night, living in an Rv with 5 other people can do that to you, but its also alot more than that, i hate it that whenever we have an opportunity to go out my bf never wants to go but as soon as the guys ask him to he drops the world to be with him, i know were both working n tired at the end of the day, but come on all i want is a little alone time, a little loving time, something like come on. Im not a high maintenance girl... i just... dont have anyone else here... thats really hard...
So onto another issue, making friends. yeah i suck at it but thats what you get for being from a small town and having uber religious parents... So for example i went to one party n it was sweet i met a few people who i could hang out with but surprise surprise none of the girls txt me or seemed interested in a relationship past the firelight... but yeah a couple of the guys were chill n so i started to talking to one guy... my bf has always said that he is not jealous or easily upset by other men in my life n that i should make friends, so i was trying to make friends with this fellow who was 100% platonic in intentions thus far... well of course when the bf was out drinking n i was trying to talk to this fellow, he flips shit. N its just like flash backs from my previous relationships n it brings back all these fears about friends, boys, n life. It makes me shut down internally n honestly makes me want to run away... honestly... I would leave in a heartbeat if i found a place to go.... all i need is good coffee, good people, n someone who cares...
peace.love.coffee.
New hair
First off Im working again so thats another reason Ive been busy n while the money is amazing n it feels so nice to be able to buy whatever i need, sometimes i wonder if its worth the pain... My bfs mom is my boss n while it was supposed to be a partnership, it was easy for her to fire me the minute we ran low on business... aaaaaand then ask me to work when it picked up again, im not a fucking yoyo but i do suffer from workaholism so its a hard balance for me... i dont know what to do... i could get a job in five minutes if i tried in this town... honestly...
My bf n i got into it last night, living in an Rv with 5 other people can do that to you, but its also alot more than that, i hate it that whenever we have an opportunity to go out my bf never wants to go but as soon as the guys ask him to he drops the world to be with him, i know were both working n tired at the end of the day, but come on all i want is a little alone time, a little loving time, something like come on. Im not a high maintenance girl... i just... dont have anyone else here... thats really hard...
So onto another issue, making friends. yeah i suck at it but thats what you get for being from a small town and having uber religious parents... So for example i went to one party n it was sweet i met a few people who i could hang out with but surprise surprise none of the girls txt me or seemed interested in a relationship past the firelight... but yeah a couple of the guys were chill n so i started to talking to one guy... my bf has always said that he is not jealous or easily upset by other men in my life n that i should make friends, so i was trying to make friends with this fellow who was 100% platonic in intentions thus far... well of course when the bf was out drinking n i was trying to talk to this fellow, he flips shit. N its just like flash backs from my previous relationships n it brings back all these fears about friends, boys, n life. It makes me shut down internally n honestly makes me want to run away... honestly... I would leave in a heartbeat if i found a place to go.... all i need is good coffee, good people, n someone who cares...
peace.love.coffee.
New hair
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
_indica:
Thank you all for the sweet comments, things are yucky but you all cheered me up n help me sort some things out in my head. Thank you guys 
betel:
I'm sorry about your bf and your whole situation. I understand though, shit gets rough in that kind of situation. You're a beautiful girl and I think you know that everything will eventuallly be ok. Message me if you would like.