_felix_

Yesterdays post was about the Pandora's box in my life.


All my wise friends here have warned me and I heed the advice. I thought about it alot last night and I don't want to open the box at this point. I'm not prepared for what maybe inside.

I'm just having a freak out basically. I'm turning 30 next month, which is kind o a milestone if a do say so myself. None of my serious relationships have lasted longer than 5 years and now my man and I are in our 5th year and I'm wondering if it's all going to fall apart. But I need to talk to him. yesterday I was speculating, without actually having had a conversation on what he wants and needs. It's clear that I'm worried that after 5 years I can't turn him on any more, but I have not even discussed that issue with him. I'm jumping to conclusions and I know that's not smart. because alot of what I feel maybe in my head. if it's not and there's a problem we'll have to deal with it.

I don't think it helps that I've been forgetting to take my zolof. I'm getting to the weepy stage again. I need to get my head on straight. how can I deal with my relationship if I can't handle myself? I can't. period.