I'm tired of weight issues...in society and with myself. there's just too much emphasis on it. period.
I wanna just be happy with who i am...but I'm putting on weight again and I don't feel good about it. I know what I have to do to manage it...and that is work my ass off at the gym and stop trying to live off sugar maybe, eh? Will power has never been my strong point. it's one thing to be fat but it's another to be fat because you are just plain weak.
I love my curves to a certain point and then I have to get real. I feel I put alot of pressure on myself also because my mom is very overweight and has been unhappy for years. everytime I start to gain it's like...oh look at cpussy cat, just like her mom. do you know how it feels?
In the last few years I've actually dropped quite a bit of weight. for the record I'm a little thing...only 5'2 in height. in college I was starting to push between 155 and 160. it's taken a long time but recently I got down to about 130, which is about what I weighed in highschool. I'm creeping back up to 140 and I have been lazy. if I could have kept my momentum up at 130 I might have gotten down to what I consider my ideal weight 125. but I wasn't even 125 in highschool. I don't know where I got the idea in my head that that should be my ideal weight, but I seem fixated on that number. but for someone fixated on a number, it's odd that I don't own a scale. I weigh myself at the gym and other than that I try not to look too much at weight and focus on the inches I'm loosing and the clothes sizes I'm dropping. that is until I start to gain weight and then it's all about what the scale says again.
it's a sad sick twisted way to look at ourselves and yet most of us are doing it and beating ourselves up about it everyday.
wouldn't it be nice if I could be free...fat and sexy. I guess what we need is another world famine. then once again a robust full figured woman will be a symbol of wealth, health and sexiness like it was in the Rubens, or Botecelli (sp?) renaissance paintings.
the three graces would be considered obese by todays standards.
it will be interesting to see how I continue to come to terms with my weight battle in the future. I'm forcing myself back on a regular schedule at the gym, because being overweight doesn't nessarily mean I have to be out of shape too.
I wanna just be happy with who i am...but I'm putting on weight again and I don't feel good about it. I know what I have to do to manage it...and that is work my ass off at the gym and stop trying to live off sugar maybe, eh? Will power has never been my strong point. it's one thing to be fat but it's another to be fat because you are just plain weak.
I love my curves to a certain point and then I have to get real. I feel I put alot of pressure on myself also because my mom is very overweight and has been unhappy for years. everytime I start to gain it's like...oh look at cpussy cat, just like her mom. do you know how it feels?
In the last few years I've actually dropped quite a bit of weight. for the record I'm a little thing...only 5'2 in height. in college I was starting to push between 155 and 160. it's taken a long time but recently I got down to about 130, which is about what I weighed in highschool. I'm creeping back up to 140 and I have been lazy. if I could have kept my momentum up at 130 I might have gotten down to what I consider my ideal weight 125. but I wasn't even 125 in highschool. I don't know where I got the idea in my head that that should be my ideal weight, but I seem fixated on that number. but for someone fixated on a number, it's odd that I don't own a scale. I weigh myself at the gym and other than that I try not to look too much at weight and focus on the inches I'm loosing and the clothes sizes I'm dropping. that is until I start to gain weight and then it's all about what the scale says again.
it's a sad sick twisted way to look at ourselves and yet most of us are doing it and beating ourselves up about it everyday.
wouldn't it be nice if I could be free...fat and sexy. I guess what we need is another world famine. then once again a robust full figured woman will be a symbol of wealth, health and sexiness like it was in the Rubens, or Botecelli (sp?) renaissance paintings.
the three graces would be considered obese by todays standards.
it will be interesting to see how I continue to come to terms with my weight battle in the future. I'm forcing myself back on a regular schedule at the gym, because being overweight doesn't nessarily mean I have to be out of shape too.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
letigre:
I need to get my ass in gear as well. Before I can't get in to my pants. 
strigoimort:
Yeah I think I need to step away from the SG for a day or two till the bugs are worked out.