hahaaa...Is every one tired of my stress/depression posts yet? I know I am. heh.
Well I'm really ok with everything right now, but I decided this should really be a separate blog....instead of a long interjection at the end of my last post.
my mother thinks maybe I should give up on my relationship. I don't agree. She feels I have to work too hard at it and I'm not happy. which is only half true. Daniel and I have had to deal with some really difficult circumstances both in the past and present which have made me unhappy yes. but this is not our whole relationship. the good times are good. for me the good out weighs the bad. or maybe I'm just not ready to give up on this relationship. we've been together 4 years. he's my best friend. But mom wants me to be happy and in a relationship that is easier. I suppose that's a mothers right to want the best for her child. but I don't know how I feel about the easy part. who said it was suppose to be easy?
I don't think it's fair to make a decision right now anyway... he's got wayy too much going on with his mom's poor health and changing jobs. We had a melt down on Friday and some things were said out of anger. for a moment it looked like I would loose him forever...he was ready to throw it all away, everything was crumbling around him so why not throw the relationship out too. I couldn't breathe I love him so much. I begged him to stop and think. We went to see my therapist that night. He said he didn't mean most of what he said...he was just angry and destructive. My therapist helped us understand that we have different communcation styles (something that's very common in many relationships she says) and we just have to learn to understand those styles better and maybe catch ourselves in our unhealthy patterns. he's willing to see the counselor with me and I beleive we can improve things.
I can't imagine life without him. I know that makes me sound clingy and desperate, but I just don't think I could love anyone more. if it ever does end I'll probably start dating women exclusively. I can't imagine being with another man for a long time, it would hurt too much.
He seems as committed to working things out with me as I am with him. Please wish us luck. Sometimes I worry that love won't be enough.
Well I'm really ok with everything right now, but I decided this should really be a separate blog....instead of a long interjection at the end of my last post.
my mother thinks maybe I should give up on my relationship. I don't agree. She feels I have to work too hard at it and I'm not happy. which is only half true. Daniel and I have had to deal with some really difficult circumstances both in the past and present which have made me unhappy yes. but this is not our whole relationship. the good times are good. for me the good out weighs the bad. or maybe I'm just not ready to give up on this relationship. we've been together 4 years. he's my best friend. But mom wants me to be happy and in a relationship that is easier. I suppose that's a mothers right to want the best for her child. but I don't know how I feel about the easy part. who said it was suppose to be easy?
I don't think it's fair to make a decision right now anyway... he's got wayy too much going on with his mom's poor health and changing jobs. We had a melt down on Friday and some things were said out of anger. for a moment it looked like I would loose him forever...he was ready to throw it all away, everything was crumbling around him so why not throw the relationship out too. I couldn't breathe I love him so much. I begged him to stop and think. We went to see my therapist that night. He said he didn't mean most of what he said...he was just angry and destructive. My therapist helped us understand that we have different communcation styles (something that's very common in many relationships she says) and we just have to learn to understand those styles better and maybe catch ourselves in our unhealthy patterns. he's willing to see the counselor with me and I beleive we can improve things.
I can't imagine life without him. I know that makes me sound clingy and desperate, but I just don't think I could love anyone more. if it ever does end I'll probably start dating women exclusively. I can't imagine being with another man for a long time, it would hurt too much.
He seems as committed to working things out with me as I am with him. Please wish us luck. Sometimes I worry that love won't be enough.
when your lovers in a dangerous time,
sometimes you're made to feel as if your loves a crime....
Nothing worth having comes without some sort of fight,
Got to kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight
-Bruce Cockburn
and thanks for the compliment.