I have a chemical imbalance. and I'm facing a difficult reality. I'm just not ok without anti-depressants.
I've been treated with Zolof for mild to moderate depression on and off for several years now. I'm having trouble with my new insurance and I haven't been able to maintain my medication. I really thought I'd be ok off of it since I take a very low dose (50mg) daily. When I'm not on Zolof I've been trying to maintain with St. Johns Wort, but I just don't seem to have much success with it. I know st. Johns wort, just like anti-depressants takes time to build up in my system, so either I'm not on it long enough to see results or I'm not getting enough of it...or maybe it just doesn't work for me. I would prefer a natural alternative like the herb, but I've yet to be sucessful with it. or perhaps I should say be AS sucessful as I have been with prescription drugs.
anyway..I've been off Zolof for 3 weeks and I'm already finding myself more easily frusterated and emotional. Once again I feel like sobbing at the drop of a hat with out any real reason to feel so much dispair. dispair. that's what it's like. hopelessness. feeling like I'll never acomplish anything. feeling that there no point to any of this. It really quite...painful. this is the worst possible time of year for me to be off my meds. I lost my dad 6 years ago around christmas so emotionally I'm vulnerable around this time a year anyway. So here I am, with a shitty insurance company, unable to afford my meds on my own and forced to try to find a way to cope admist all this holiday shit and a medical condition that almost caused me to go blind in one eye earlier this year. yeah. I'm so glad I'm me.
I'm in therapy and I have been on and off since i was 10, why am I not getting any better? Am I never going to be "normal". Is the quality of my life dependent on anti-depressants??? I don't want to be on anti-depressants for the rest of my life, but it's starting to feel like I don't have a choice. This is distressing. almost as distressing as being depressed all the time.
Is this who I am? I don't even know what to beleive about my condition. how will i save me from myself?
I think I need some sort of life altering expereince. anyone got any sugestions?
I've been treated with Zolof for mild to moderate depression on and off for several years now. I'm having trouble with my new insurance and I haven't been able to maintain my medication. I really thought I'd be ok off of it since I take a very low dose (50mg) daily. When I'm not on Zolof I've been trying to maintain with St. Johns Wort, but I just don't seem to have much success with it. I know st. Johns wort, just like anti-depressants takes time to build up in my system, so either I'm not on it long enough to see results or I'm not getting enough of it...or maybe it just doesn't work for me. I would prefer a natural alternative like the herb, but I've yet to be sucessful with it. or perhaps I should say be AS sucessful as I have been with prescription drugs.
anyway..I've been off Zolof for 3 weeks and I'm already finding myself more easily frusterated and emotional. Once again I feel like sobbing at the drop of a hat with out any real reason to feel so much dispair. dispair. that's what it's like. hopelessness. feeling like I'll never acomplish anything. feeling that there no point to any of this. It really quite...painful. this is the worst possible time of year for me to be off my meds. I lost my dad 6 years ago around christmas so emotionally I'm vulnerable around this time a year anyway. So here I am, with a shitty insurance company, unable to afford my meds on my own and forced to try to find a way to cope admist all this holiday shit and a medical condition that almost caused me to go blind in one eye earlier this year. yeah. I'm so glad I'm me.
I'm in therapy and I have been on and off since i was 10, why am I not getting any better? Am I never going to be "normal". Is the quality of my life dependent on anti-depressants??? I don't want to be on anti-depressants for the rest of my life, but it's starting to feel like I don't have a choice. This is distressing. almost as distressing as being depressed all the time.
Is this who I am? I don't even know what to beleive about my condition. how will i save me from myself?
I think I need some sort of life altering expereince. anyone got any sugestions?
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I used to go to a massage therapist for my depression - as odd as it sounds, and I found that it helped quite a bit..
I've never been on meds though...so, I dont' know if I can really be much help
I have a doctor who's very much against them, and focuses on natural ways of dealing and healing...
There are days I wish that he wasn't like that, but the majority of the time, I'm grateful..
It just sucks to have days where I feel like I can't face the world, and I just lay in bed feeling hopeless and bawling my eyes out.
She was taking cypromil, I don't know if you can get that in the states, a fairly heavy dose too but they seemed to make her feel halfway normal.
Over time she started to get better, then one day I was listening to the radio in the car and a song came on. I was singing along very badly but Clare just sat there and started to smile, a proper smile, something I hadn't seen in a while. I got the lyrics to the song written up by a caligrapher, framed and hung it on the wall in our living room. The song's awful, the band suck but any time clare feels low she reads it and just feels better.......................
Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head
You feel left out or looked down on
Just try your best, try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away
It just takes some time, little girl
You're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right
Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own
So don't buy in, live right now
Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if that's good enough for someone else
It just takes some time, little girl
You're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right
Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head
You feel left out or looked down on
Just do your best, do everything you can
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say
It just takes some time, little girl
You're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right
Sorry for the long post!!
Feel better chick!