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_fatalist

San Diego, CA

Member Since 2006

Followers 29 Following 61

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Thursday May 14, 2009

May 14, 2009
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I'm slowly coming to the realization that I need to stop listening to such angry music. It (obviously) affects my moods and how I tend to interact with people. Normally I roll to work and I'll be listening to something like Skinny Puppy, or Suicide Commando, Wumpscut, you know....evil angryish sounding tunes.

Lately, I've been listening to a lot of ambient or chillout. Sometimes classical, blues, jazz, old country. And I've noticed my moods being a lot more focused and chilled. It doesn't make me like my co-workers any more or less. Or my workplace for that matter. But I tend to bite my tongue more and get my job done faster.

So ambient/chillout it is.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I feel like I'm in a bind on a couple of fronts that are related.

For one, I don't really have a good solid place I can have the kids on the weekends. I don't feel like they're as welcome up here where I'm currently living, as they were a year ago. A lot of it has to do with the room-mate/house-owner's girlfriend. At least I think it does. So it kind of unnerves me to have them up here and be so chaotic as my kids like to be. Not so much the eldest kid, but my 4 year old. He hasn't quite got the concept of being quiet when he wakes up at 6:30-ish AM. It's frustrating.

Which leads me into my next bit. I want to move out. Partially because of the kids, and mostly because I just want my privacy. I have a constant need to have change in my life, and moving locations is one of them. I don't exactly have the funds to just up and move, nor do I have the credit for it. And I know right now, especially with the economy the way it is, that landlords will be looking more towards good credit.

I don't know. It's all so......bleah. puke

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Can't believe its Friday already. The last couple of days, I've gone into work at 7:30am, worked past 6pm and still had plenty of work to do. Which is both awesome and tiring/frustrating at the same time. Thankfully today things are finally starting to come together and I can see the finish line. Took a lot of bitching, moaning and teeth pulling to get there though.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Drawing class again tonight. Finally had a cute model. The last few haven't been so pleasing to the eye. So I curse and thank the fact that its non-nude.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Anyways, I'll leave it at that.

Ciao lovelies.
m0ngrel:
the ambient does take a much softer toll on the mind
smile
cheers brutha
May 14, 2009

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