I am really, really, really sick. My entire body aches, my eyeballs are too big and my temperature is bobbing up and down in a manner more suitable for a bad porno blowjob.
This morning I failed to brush my hair. I couldn't manage such a complicated motion.
Then I had to catch a abus with a suitcase as big as me, and the bus...
Read More
This morning I failed to brush my hair. I couldn't manage such a complicated motion.
Then I had to catch a abus with a suitcase as big as me, and the bus...
Read More
prockgirlscout:
That temperature/blowjob connection is confusing the fuck out of me but I know I want you to feel better fast. I hope you don't have to go anywhere else while you're so sick. 
steven:
Thanks. Life's a bitch sometimes!
This is why I shouldn't turn my head. When I look away, something always changes.
Thistle is gone. We'd always said we should speak more often, but we never did.
I'm all over saying. Saying is lame.
Thistle is gone. We'd always said we should speak more often, but we never did.
I'm all over saying. Saying is lame.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
steven:
^ 
I seem to have that effect...
I seem to have that effect...
quirky:
I tag you!
See, when you call it "Super Powerful" I expect that the phrase "Fucked me with a Jackhammer" should be, if not intimately involved, at least highly palatable.
Allow me to make something abundantly plain to you. "Super Powerful" is not applicable to any... device... which uses a mere two double A batteries, just as a woman with two double A breasts could not accurate be...
Read More
Allow me to make something abundantly plain to you. "Super Powerful" is not applicable to any... device... which uses a mere two double A batteries, just as a woman with two double A breasts could not accurate be...
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
char1es:
If you ever move to Calgary, I know just the girl for that assistant 'position' you refer to.
cleverthings:
Aw shucks!! You searched for a song called "Clever Things"!! 
I know the one you mean... well, the actual song. Yay, infecting people's psyches everywhere! Oh, and the boy I mentioned: just posted a pic of us looking deliriously happy in my journal.
Last night, I went on a boat!! I real boat cruise thing with actually NICE people and EXCELLENT bands, including my awesome goth-friend's band and she organised it too. Such a fun night. Said pic is of that night.
I went on a lovely vibrator mission in Sydney. Shop in Kings Cross had an extremely helpful girl and I found a good one, to my infinite satisfaction. She did, however, explain to me that as she requires her clit, vagina and anus stimulated all at the same time, it limits her options. She also showed me the size that she prefers... and it was... how you say... rather astonishing. I'm not quite sure my body could stretch that far when not giving birth.
I know the one you mean... well, the actual song. Yay, infecting people's psyches everywhere! Oh, and the boy I mentioned: just posted a pic of us looking deliriously happy in my journal.
Last night, I went on a boat!! I real boat cruise thing with actually NICE people and EXCELLENT bands, including my awesome goth-friend's band and she organised it too. Such a fun night. Said pic is of that night.
I went on a lovely vibrator mission in Sydney. Shop in Kings Cross had an extremely helpful girl and I found a good one, to my infinite satisfaction. She did, however, explain to me that as she requires her clit, vagina and anus stimulated all at the same time, it limits her options. She also showed me the size that she prefers... and it was... how you say... rather astonishing. I'm not quite sure my body could stretch that far when not giving birth.
Check your friends threads and recommend a book for me
I want a baby.
I want a baby.
I had a date last night. We went to the supermarket to buy exciting and mundane ingredients for exotic spanish cooking, but somehow we never got around to actually cooking siad exotic spanish cooking.
I...
Read More
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
eddie:
oui oui madam!
signalnoise:
i never sat down and watched "fear and loathing" 
As of now, I've been awake for thirty two hours. Yes, it is the beginning of the full moon (thank you for asking), and subsequently my skin feels as though it's been stretched across a pincushion. Every sensation is magnified a thousand times.
(Post entry addendum: Pincushions are usually soft. This was a stupid similie)
For the past eight weeks I've been labouring under an...
Read More
(Post entry addendum: Pincushions are usually soft. This was a stupid similie)
For the past eight weeks I've been labouring under an...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
huck:
"do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" 
hopey:
Next summer. We would love to have you.
I do not recognise this serene creature, siting demurely like some catholic grandmother's vision of the Virgin. Her hands are soft, and she smiles quietly when she speaks her wisdom. I do not understand how she can sit, content to be the quiet teacher. I do not understand how she can be at peace when she speaks out against the all that is wrong.
I...
Read More
I...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
freakpirate:
I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy TV. However, I very rarely sit in front of the TV to watch anything. Thanks to the glory of the internet I can simply download whatever shows I want and watch them at my convenience. Commerical free and relaxing.
I do, however, understand the sick pleasure that comes from shouting at the useless chimps on the television.
I have found that, nine times out of ten, right wing journalists have about as much integrity as an infomercial host.
I am also well known for telling people what I think is right and what I think they should do. It gets me in trouble and it also gets me into a lot of arguments but oddly enough that never stops me. It's just a natural reaction.
I do, however, understand the sick pleasure that comes from shouting at the useless chimps on the television.
I have found that, nine times out of ten, right wing journalists have about as much integrity as an infomercial host.
I am also well known for telling people what I think is right and what I think they should do. It gets me in trouble and it also gets me into a lot of arguments but oddly enough that never stops me. It's just a natural reaction.
lior:
hah. Setting her on fire would make me feel better. But it would land me in prison methinks.
But I did call her supervisor and got her fired. So Im rather pleased with myself right now
But I did call her supervisor and got her fired. So Im rather pleased with myself right now
So, very early this morning I happened to fall down the rabbit-hole, and by "fell down the rabbit hole" I mean "happened across an American News programme".
Jesus help you all, if this was what passes for journalism in your country. I might as well watch Hi-5 for my current affairs! Blatant, sensationalist propoganda blended with knee-jerk reactionary nonsense and a total and complete absence...
Read More
Jesus help you all, if this was what passes for journalism in your country. I might as well watch Hi-5 for my current affairs! Blatant, sensationalist propoganda blended with knee-jerk reactionary nonsense and a total and complete absence...
Read More
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
mat8drb:
I get Fox News here on satellite. It is top notch!
andvari:
I used to listen to the criticism of Fox news and think "I can't really be that bad." Then I actually watched it for the space of an afternoon and I couldn't believe that people weren't up in arms about it.
I started a new aerobic and cardiovascular workout at an unpleasantly early hour in what I must deceitfully refer to as the morning.
For the past five hours, my lungs have been delivering a grand filibuster of a lecture on the benifits of metaphorical gradient inclines, particularly when applied to new workouts and the severity thereof. I expect this lecture may well continue into the...
Read More
For the past five hours, my lungs have been delivering a grand filibuster of a lecture on the benifits of metaphorical gradient inclines, particularly when applied to new workouts and the severity thereof. I expect this lecture may well continue into the...
Read More
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
mat8drb:
She's getting on well.
I prefer CV workouts as opposed to those weight ones. Urgh.
I prefer CV workouts as opposed to those weight ones. Urgh.
ampersand:
I had to run for the bus last week. I made it, but on the way to work my lungs filed for divorce. We're in the process of splitting my stuff up at the moment.
It didn't go well at all.
It didn't go well at all.
It's scary to realize you have to leave your whole life behind to become the person you want to be. I liked my life.
mat8drb:
*big hug*
_dictionarygirl_:
*panda hugs* Be brave, dear. 
In Australia, not reading poetry is the national pastime.
-Phyllis McGinley
I've a new research project that's taking up nearly all of my time. Between endless hours at the library and the myriad foolhardy chores of moving cross-country I'm too busy to play with you kids.
Much love, smutty comments and innuendo,
Jaquelin.
-Phyllis McGinley
I've a new research project that's taking up nearly all of my time. Between endless hours at the library and the myriad foolhardy chores of moving cross-country I'm too busy to play with you kids.
Much love, smutty comments and innuendo,
Jaquelin.
mat8drb:
Well, that's interesting too. Hope you're enjoying it.
Hope you're enjoying it.
_dictionarygirl_:
Every time I come to your journal it says you're going away. 
But in other news, I love your writings below. Tre gorgeous.
But in other news, I love your writings below. Tre gorgeous.