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_elichrusos

Australia

Member Since 2004

Followers 201 Following 210

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Wednesday Jul 19, 2006

Jul 19, 2006
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See, when you call it "Super Powerful" I expect that the phrase "Fucked me with a Jackhammer" should be, if not intimately involved, at least highly palatable.

Allow me to make something abundantly plain to you. "Super Powerful" is not applicable to any... device... which uses a mere two double A batteries, just as a woman with two double A breasts could not accurate be described as curvaceous. Seven speeds is not an impressive selling point when the first six could be described as Negligible, and the seventh as Nearly. The top setting needs to not be Nearly. Things that end with Nearly make me...

Incivil.

If at any point in the future you feel the unshakable desire to tell me such irritating and unsatisfactory lies, I will ensure that "Fucked me with a Jackhammer" will find it's way into your vocabulary. Only possibly not in the way I was originally wanting.

Go to hell.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
And another thing: Why is it impossible for me to get any textured vibrators that don't look like a tissue -starved & dessicated penis suffering from severe hypervascularity? Courtesy of the miracle of pornography, I know there are in fact men who look like that. Here's the thing, though: if I wanted a penis, I'd go out and get one. They're not excatly scarce. The thing is, right, the thing is that I'm not actually particularly enthralled with cock; that would in fact be intimately arranged with the whole "gay" issue. It has occasional application, but I'm not much for calling a spade a spade.



Incedentally, dear people who've spent the last two years telling me how much they want to... whatever it was that I wasn't really listening to. Now that your constant pleading, begging and cajouling would result in something other than SUPREME irritation, why have you gone away? I'm certain you wanted to... something, sorry, I was looking at my hair at the time.

If I do not get a good and proper fucking, and soon, I think I might well die.

VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
char1es:
If you ever move to Calgary, I know just the girl for that assistant 'position' you refer to.
Jul 21, 2006
cleverthings:
Aw shucks!! You searched for a song called "Clever Things"!! blush biggrin I know the one you mean... well, the actual song. Yay, infecting people's psyches everywhere! Oh, and the boy I mentioned: just posted a pic of us looking deliriously happy in my journal.

Last night, I went on a boat!! I real boat cruise thing with actually NICE people and EXCELLENT bands, including my awesome goth-friend's band and she organised it too. Such a fun night. Said pic is of that night.

I went on a lovely vibrator mission in Sydney. Shop in Kings Cross had an extremely helpful girl and I found a good one, to my infinite satisfaction. She did, however, explain to me that as she requires her clit, vagina and anus stimulated all at the same time, it limits her options. She also showed me the size that she prefers... and it was... how you say... rather astonishing. I'm not quite sure my body could stretch that far when not giving birth.
Jul 21, 2006

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