So today, I got an interesting phone call. Someone called me to tell me they had seen Wes. At his bus stop. At the time he is there for pick up. In the clothes I saw him wearing today. Dealing.
You could imagine how angry that shit made me. Getting random phone calls about this shit? Not only is he dealing drugs again, he has YET to help me out ONE BIT since he's been in the half-way house, and YET to find a fucking job! I'm *almost* tempted to snitch on him! But that isn't the way I was raised. But boy it's gonna be so much easier when he does get caught. Instead, I'm taking the rest of his shit, and dropping it off at his friends house, and cutting him out of our lives. That part of my life is part of the past, and I'm not about to make it a part of Bianca's so fucking help me. If Wes has a problem, I fucking DARE him to take me to court! I don't even know why I'm so furious, like I was expecting him to actualy get his shit together or something, PFFT! I am a little worried though about harrassment and such. I will call the cops in a fucking heartbeat.
Here we go.
This is the time that I've been dreading to deal with for most of my pregnancy, and up until now. But I've gotta do it. At least I will be able to get it over with, and be able to move on with our lives. Any suggestions on how to deal with this type of situation? It would be greatly appreciated, along with some words to keep me going. I'm so emotionally drained at this point, I'm striving to keep my head up. And I will, even if it takes every last bit of energy. I will do what I have to do to protect my daughter. Nuff said.
Fucking Bastard.
******************************
On another note, I've been feeling a lil bit on the depressed side lately. I feel fat, ugly, lonely and rejected. I don't know why. Then with this whole thing with Wesley, ugh. I think my head is gonna explode. I just wanna get working, so I can get my own place already. Then I can be like all the other mommies posting about happy things. Bianca is barely starting to reach for things. All the other babies her age are already doing all kinds of stuff. I know every kid is different, but for some reason I can't get it out of my head that, maybe it's because she's formula fed, and the other babies are breastfed. I know exactly how stupid it sounds. Fucking sucks though.
Tomorrow, I'm going to the El Paso Downtown Street Festival. Matt's band is opening up for Collective Soul and the Smitherines. There's gonna be all kinds of fun stuff, games, rock climbing ect. Should be fun. Give me a little break anyways. Hopefully when I get back I'll be able to post a happy blog.
You could imagine how angry that shit made me. Getting random phone calls about this shit? Not only is he dealing drugs again, he has YET to help me out ONE BIT since he's been in the half-way house, and YET to find a fucking job! I'm *almost* tempted to snitch on him! But that isn't the way I was raised. But boy it's gonna be so much easier when he does get caught. Instead, I'm taking the rest of his shit, and dropping it off at his friends house, and cutting him out of our lives. That part of my life is part of the past, and I'm not about to make it a part of Bianca's so fucking help me. If Wes has a problem, I fucking DARE him to take me to court! I don't even know why I'm so furious, like I was expecting him to actualy get his shit together or something, PFFT! I am a little worried though about harrassment and such. I will call the cops in a fucking heartbeat.
Here we go.
This is the time that I've been dreading to deal with for most of my pregnancy, and up until now. But I've gotta do it. At least I will be able to get it over with, and be able to move on with our lives. Any suggestions on how to deal with this type of situation? It would be greatly appreciated, along with some words to keep me going. I'm so emotionally drained at this point, I'm striving to keep my head up. And I will, even if it takes every last bit of energy. I will do what I have to do to protect my daughter. Nuff said.
Fucking Bastard.
******************************
On another note, I've been feeling a lil bit on the depressed side lately. I feel fat, ugly, lonely and rejected. I don't know why. Then with this whole thing with Wesley, ugh. I think my head is gonna explode. I just wanna get working, so I can get my own place already. Then I can be like all the other mommies posting about happy things. Bianca is barely starting to reach for things. All the other babies her age are already doing all kinds of stuff. I know every kid is different, but for some reason I can't get it out of my head that, maybe it's because she's formula fed, and the other babies are breastfed. I know exactly how stupid it sounds. Fucking sucks though.
Tomorrow, I'm going to the El Paso Downtown Street Festival. Matt's band is opening up for Collective Soul and the Smitherines. There's gonna be all kinds of fun stuff, games, rock climbing ect. Should be fun. Give me a little break anyways. Hopefully when I get back I'll be able to post a happy blog.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
devilsreject:
This SG Group may help you.
tex13:
Don't worry dear. No matter what all those experts say in books about what children should be doing at a certain age its not an exact science at all. When I was a child my parents were told I would bever be as big or as smart as other kids because I was born premature. I have grown to be 6'3" and graduated with honors, so I've never trusted what experts say about development.