Ok so I had a friendly reminder that I need to update my blog 
. Hehe, so where should I start. There's kinda been a few changes, but my mind has been so clusterfucked lately, ugh. Well, tomorrow I SHOULD be getting the 1997 Honda Accord my dad bought. They're just waiting on the check to clear or somet BS. So I will finally have wheels. Once that happens, I'm gonna start getting on the ball about trying to figure out what I'm gonna do about daycare and work. I was told by a few people that if I go through the food stamps people, that I could get hook ups with daycare. I just have a zillion questions to ask about that. I hope I qualify for it, cuz it's gonna be a while before I get any help from Wes 
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So he's still in the half way house. Good news is he hasn't gotten high or drank, but the bad news is the dumb shit is selling weed at the half-way house. That is the STUPIDEST thing he could do right now other than get high! It's probably worst! It doesnt matter if you get caught with a joint or a fucking pound there. I just told him, "If you get locked up again, I don't even wanna fucking hear it. Don't even call me." If thats fucked up, too bad. I dont want my daughter growing up seeing her dad in and out of jail. Its a tough desicion, but I'd much rather her not witness that kind of thing. He hasn't really been making too much of an effort as far as getting a job either. I mean he went to a few places, but he really isn't taking this seriously. Thank God I was smart and got him to sign an Acknowlegement of Paternity through the Attorney General. In case (which I more than likely am gonna do very soon) I need to get child support, it will be a lot smoother to track his ass down
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He comes by to see her almost any chance he gets. I understand he wants to spend time with hish daughter and all, but it isn't fair to me to have all the responsibilites of being a parent and him just joy-riding. That probably sounds fucked up too, but really I don't care.
So on another note, I've been starting to drink alot. I mean, I'm not getting trashed or anything, but I'm drinking more than I'm comfortable with. And I think it's about that time for me to stop again. I can't be drinking and hanging out like if I'm not a parent. Cuz I am. Things have changed and I need to deal with that.
If anyone has been to El Paso, you know there isn't shit to do here but drink, drugs and eat. I think once I start working, things will be A LOT better. I won't be bored thats for sure. She's almost 3 months, and it's about that time, where I need to start working so we can get our own place. I am tired of having to depend on people. I'm grateful and everything that my dad has been such a big help, but its not his responsability to take care of us. Plus he smokes inside (in another room but still, I HATE that.) And we have way too many cats. There are 4 cats here (all long haired) and a chow. It can't be healthy for Bianca. Plus I really dont want her crawling around on nasty animal hair once she is big enough!
Anyways, I guess thats as much an update as I can think of at the moment..... Whats up with everyone else??
. Hehe, so where should I start. There's kinda been a few changes, but my mind has been so clusterfucked lately, ugh. Well, tomorrow I SHOULD be getting the 1997 Honda Accord my dad bought. They're just waiting on the check to clear or somet BS. So I will finally have wheels. Once that happens, I'm gonna start getting on the ball about trying to figure out what I'm gonna do about daycare and work. I was told by a few people that if I go through the food stamps people, that I could get hook ups with daycare. I just have a zillion questions to ask about that. I hope I qualify for it, cuz it's gonna be a while before I get any help from Wes .
So he's still in the half way house. Good news is he hasn't gotten high or drank, but the bad news is the dumb shit is selling weed at the half-way house. That is the STUPIDEST thing he could do right now other than get high! It's probably worst! It doesnt matter if you get caught with a joint or a fucking pound there. I just told him, "If you get locked up again, I don't even wanna fucking hear it. Don't even call me." If thats fucked up, too bad. I dont want my daughter growing up seeing her dad in and out of jail. Its a tough desicion, but I'd much rather her not witness that kind of thing. He hasn't really been making too much of an effort as far as getting a job either. I mean he went to a few places, but he really isn't taking this seriously. Thank God I was smart and got him to sign an Acknowlegement of Paternity through the Attorney General. In case (which I more than likely am gonna do very soon) I need to get child support, it will be a lot smoother to track his ass down
.
He comes by to see her almost any chance he gets. I understand he wants to spend time with hish daughter and all, but it isn't fair to me to have all the responsibilites of being a parent and him just joy-riding. That probably sounds fucked up too, but really I don't care.
So on another note, I've been starting to drink alot. I mean, I'm not getting trashed or anything, but I'm drinking more than I'm comfortable with. And I think it's about that time for me to stop again. I can't be drinking and hanging out like if I'm not a parent. Cuz I am. Things have changed and I need to deal with that.
If anyone has been to El Paso, you know there isn't shit to do here but drink, drugs and eat. I think once I start working, things will be A LOT better. I won't be bored thats for sure. She's almost 3 months, and it's about that time, where I need to start working so we can get our own place. I am tired of having to depend on people. I'm grateful and everything that my dad has been such a big help, but its not his responsability to take care of us. Plus he smokes inside (in another room but still, I HATE that.) And we have way too many cats. There are 4 cats here (all long haired) and a chow. It can't be healthy for Bianca. Plus I really dont want her crawling around on nasty animal hair once she is big enough!
Anyways, I guess thats as much an update as I can think of at the moment..... Whats up with everyone else??
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
I'm sure that you'll qualify for assistance with the job, daycare and even housing.
As for the drinking thing, the fact that you know you shouldn't be doing it is a good thing and a step in the right direction.
As for Wes, well, when he gets caught then it's all on him and you're not being mean or whatever by saying those things. If he's being an ass, you DON'T want him around you or your daughter and you're right, she doesn't need to grow up seeing him in and out of jail. If he fucks it up, it's on him, not you!
Stay strong and if you're having trouble with the drinking, there are resources there to help.
xoxo