Great. Just when I was actually starting to relax and have normal pregnancy worries. I woken up by a phone call from my ex (yes the one in jail). So I accept to tell him, no baby yet. Blah blah..
Well, I get informed that his Parole plan got accepted. I'm like, "what? where'd u parole to?" His response, "the half-way house." Just from talking to him right now, he was bitching about this life management class he's in, he's obviously not trying to benefit from any of this one bit. I know I should be happy for him going to the half way house or something, but I'm not. In a way I wish he'd just stay in prison for a lot longer.
I feel like I'm gonna puke. He says they can only keep him there at ISF (near Lubbock, TX) for another like 6 days or something. I thought I'd at least be safe bcz they usually take forever to transfer. Hopefully he's wrong there. I don't want him to come back yet. This is horrible timing. I don't think they let him out on work release right away, but I'm not sure. I know he's gonna be trying to come by to see either the baby or me. I don't know if I can fight this battle just yet. From the sound of it, he's just gonna be going back to the same old routine (Yes, I've already caught on to his patterns.) Is it fucked up that I hope he fucks up fast so I can tell him, "if you dont like it take me to court?" Cuz it feels wrong, but it would be so much easier.
Oh yeah, and since he's been gone, I've done a lil digging. He's alot more violent than I thought. He's even tried to rape a girl. And yes I know she isn't lying. He couldn't do it though. And I'm really supposed to leave my daughter w this guy, just because it was his fucking sperm that made her? I'm really worried. I'm NOT leaving her with him alone if I can help it. FUCK THAT. Call me a bad mother, say I'm depriving him of his rights, I GIVES A FLYING FUCK. I've got a HORRIBLE gut feeling about him getting "curious" with her, and just the thought ofit makes me sick SICK SICK SICK. Just the fact that shes related to him
Even his own grandma seems to believe that he shouldn't really be around if he's gonna fuck up. I know he hasn't fucked up yet, he hasn't even gotten to the halfway house yet, but I don't feel that I should have to go through that again. Especially with a newborn, is that so FUCKING WRONG! I don't even want him to see her. But I know I gotta at leave give him that. Or do I? He knows where we live, he knows our number, it's not like I can just pick up and move. Man, I really wish I could.
This FUCKING SUCKS. WHY ME AND WHY NOW. I'm doing so well, I really don't want him to fuck it all up for me. Or my baby
I think I might even cry.
Well, I get informed that his Parole plan got accepted. I'm like, "what? where'd u parole to?" His response, "the half-way house." Just from talking to him right now, he was bitching about this life management class he's in, he's obviously not trying to benefit from any of this one bit. I know I should be happy for him going to the half way house or something, but I'm not. In a way I wish he'd just stay in prison for a lot longer.
I feel like I'm gonna puke. He says they can only keep him there at ISF (near Lubbock, TX) for another like 6 days or something. I thought I'd at least be safe bcz they usually take forever to transfer. Hopefully he's wrong there. I don't want him to come back yet. This is horrible timing. I don't think they let him out on work release right away, but I'm not sure. I know he's gonna be trying to come by to see either the baby or me. I don't know if I can fight this battle just yet. From the sound of it, he's just gonna be going back to the same old routine (Yes, I've already caught on to his patterns.) Is it fucked up that I hope he fucks up fast so I can tell him, "if you dont like it take me to court?" Cuz it feels wrong, but it would be so much easier.
Oh yeah, and since he's been gone, I've done a lil digging. He's alot more violent than I thought. He's even tried to rape a girl. And yes I know she isn't lying. He couldn't do it though. And I'm really supposed to leave my daughter w this guy, just because it was his fucking sperm that made her? I'm really worried. I'm NOT leaving her with him alone if I can help it. FUCK THAT. Call me a bad mother, say I'm depriving him of his rights, I GIVES A FLYING FUCK. I've got a HORRIBLE gut feeling about him getting "curious" with her, and just the thought ofit makes me sick SICK SICK SICK. Just the fact that shes related to him
Even his own grandma seems to believe that he shouldn't really be around if he's gonna fuck up. I know he hasn't fucked up yet, he hasn't even gotten to the halfway house yet, but I don't feel that I should have to go through that again. Especially with a newborn, is that so FUCKING WRONG! I don't even want him to see her. But I know I gotta at leave give him that. Or do I? He knows where we live, he knows our number, it's not like I can just pick up and move. Man, I really wish I could.
This FUCKING SUCKS. WHY ME AND WHY NOW. I'm doing so well, I really don't want him to fuck it all up for me. Or my baby
I think I might even cry. VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
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