edit: i have determined that driving/sitting in traffic twice a day five days a week raises my overall stress level significantly. i've got to find a way around this. again crossing fingers for the schedule i want and school asap!
1. just went and had a chronic break at 9:15 in the morning. then ate half of a huge fluffy pancake, three mozzerella sticks, and... Read More
*giggles* When i read #12 it totally sounded like something my bf would say! Cept, im going to be his lil' bitch once all this weight comes off! tee hee!
Hooray for wonderful family time and holidays, its the best! Its hard to believe there was a time in my life i despised it too.
still don't know what to do with hair next. too many ideas and only one head. go back an entry to see some of those ideas.
am trying to decide if i should stay at my boring but easy CS job and go to school at night or quit, go during the day and get a night job at a coffeehouse or some shit.
~am missing certain people. i wish yall would come back now, ya hear?
~listening to cynic project's red horizon.
~not sure what to eat, but i'm famished.
~last night went up to my parents' for my second oldest brother's birthday (got five younger bros). it was a blast. love my fam. they have quite the zoo. not only six kids still at home and homeschooled,... Read More
woah!!! heres whats weird about that!!! yesterday when i left that comment for you..the day you were saying your friends went to burning man i was going to ask you if youve been on nvisible.com lately!!!! yowza!!! and i definitely agree with your last statement!
Leo: Think about how your actions affect you and others, from small gestures to large ones. The good or bad impact you can have matters, so consider what you do and how you do it. Your karma could use the kick-start.
Biologists say the speed of thought in the human brain is normally 150 miles per hour. But I'm guessing that in the coming weeks, ideas and intuitions will be zipping around your grey matter at a higher rate. It's even possible they'll break the sound barrier on a regular basis (761 miles per hour), meaning you may hear sonic booms coming from inside your skull. Don't be alarmed if this occurs; in fact, be excited. It's a sign that your intelligence is heating up, burning off tired old beliefs and outmoded theories in the process.
Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your Expanded Audio Horoscope for the week ahead.
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"Kumulipo" is an old Hawaiian prayer chant that poetically describes the creation of the world. The word literally means "beginning-in-deep-darkness." Here darkness doesn't connote gloom and evil. Rather, it's about the inscrutability of the embryonic state; the obscure chaos that reigns before germination. Think about the last time you dwelt in kumulipo.
today is my cleaning day too. have a great day lovely lady!!!
I was thinking, wow. Five people. Five people I've been letting into my thoughts and letting influence my emotions over the past year. Five people who are benefitting me in no way by being a part of my focus.
Its really strange that you mentioned Burningman. I thought about you when i was out on the Playa and had been hoping Id run into you there(because Burningman is is a focus for random meaningful meetings.) What is stopping you from coming out to a party? There are a bunch of events coming up from Integral gathering to LA's Burninman Decompression party (which I really need to go to.) If you have heard of anything good happening in SD Ill drive!
If you are feeling like you are shackled in your life it is only because you swallowed the key.....
I know how you feel. I miss that scene too when a similar thing happened I cried like a bitch for ages.
I felt hurt and lonely and my self confidence fucked up and I was depressed for ages. But one thing I learnt that what I was doing, and who I was doing it with I wasn't doing in a healthy way. And thats in part the drugs, coz I was so fucking strung out on meth and full of delusions from pills I didn't know what was left or right. (I'm not too sure what your into, but most of the ravers I know are little off tappers (thats an aussie slang). This is all from a semi-drug viewpoint and I could be completely waay of the mark. Don't forget those that are, are fucking strung out on a cocktial of paranoias, insecurities and jealousies. (thats spelt wrong but I don't know why.)
I miss dancing like crazy and just feeling happy and content and in the moment.
But somehow getting away from it I realised my head needed a rest. My thoughts were fucking up hardcore and going down paths where the thoughts would solidfy into things that would be harder to unlearn, or darker thought patterns that could be dangerous. And it took me like weeks to get out of the night time party and rave and lack of sleep and being high for days and days at a time and for my mind to readjust and heal.
But thats all drug related to some extent so yeah, as I said before not sure if it applies.
Maybe you found a place you belonged but it was fates way of saying you were doing something wrong and to go back in with wiser, not mistrustful, eyes.
I still miss my old life really badly, and I feel really lonely (I moved to a new place and learnt my lessons and got even more backstabbing and bitching and wierdness )
It takes time, and a shitload of tissues and a bit of depression. But you seem good at learning from it, and I found a few friends I've convereted to closet ravers
:: hugs :: I wish you were closer and I'd come dancing with you.
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