phew. that was a loooong few weeks. 
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
after not being able to eat, bursting into tears at any given moment, overanalyzing, feeling lost, not knowing how to act, just wanting to be sure of ANYTHING....just pure hell i tell ya...
everything is back to normal. no, better than normal.
~i know that it will never happen again, and not just because i changed my opinion on it being ok, because he changed his. ( i did tell him i didn't care who he fucked.. but i didn't expect him to get emotionally involved.. now i see that it's just too hard to keep emotions out of physical encounters.. we agree that we only want other girls in the picture now if both of us are involved)
~i know we're going to be together forever now.. we both want marriage and kids together... the promise of commitment just around the corner (even if we aren't ready for it right NOW) is very soothing.
~everything feels normal again after weeks of uncertainty.. it feels right. i AM sure about this now.
sometimes you need hard knocks to remind you what your foundation is based on and how strong it is.
i needed to reconnect to my own strong foundation of believing in and loving myself.
and we needed to reconnect to the deep love and strength of our relationship.
everything is back to normal. no, better than normal.
~i know that it will never happen again, and not just because i changed my opinion on it being ok, because he changed his. ( i did tell him i didn't care who he fucked.. but i didn't expect him to get emotionally involved.. now i see that it's just too hard to keep emotions out of physical encounters.. we agree that we only want other girls in the picture now if both of us are involved)
~i know we're going to be together forever now.. we both want marriage and kids together... the promise of commitment just around the corner (even if we aren't ready for it right NOW) is very soothing.
~everything feels normal again after weeks of uncertainty.. it feels right. i AM sure about this now.
sometimes you need hard knocks to remind you what your foundation is based on and how strong it is.
i needed to reconnect to my own strong foundation of believing in and loving myself.
and we needed to reconnect to the deep love and strength of our relationship.
thank you all for your kind words of support during this rough time! 
lots of advice today!
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
"Career opportunities present themselves in some surprising and subtle ways today. Just like in the fairy tales, a humble appearance may conceal more resources than you think. Be gracious to everyone."
"Your unconscious mind is making choices you might not be aware of. Today, it's time to take a larger view of your life and your recent actions. Things might be in danger of getting a bit out of control. If you've been spending a lot of money, it's time to start sticking to a budget and cutting out one or two indulgences. Discipline is good for you right now -- it will prepare you for something big that's coming soon. You won't regret delaying gratification."
'Let your bold personality shine today. You will be totally fiery and full of energy, so put that to good use by pushing the envelope, saying things that everyone is thinking but no one has the courage to say, and exploring all the boundaries of your world. Today is a great day to try something that you have always been just a little too scared to try. Your fears are vanishing. If you want something today, ask for it. (If you don't, you may never get it!)"
"You know this project isn't worth the time unless there's a genuine purpose behind it. Not to worry! The stars are making this challenging for you, but in the spirit of fun, of course. Reward yourself for your efforts."
"Career opportunities present themselves in some surprising and subtle ways today. Just like in the fairy tales, a humble appearance may conceal more resources than you think. Be gracious to everyone."
"Your unconscious mind is making choices you might not be aware of. Today, it's time to take a larger view of your life and your recent actions. Things might be in danger of getting a bit out of control. If you've been spending a lot of money, it's time to start sticking to a budget and cutting out one or two indulgences. Discipline is good for you right now -- it will prepare you for something big that's coming soon. You won't regret delaying gratification."
'Let your bold personality shine today. You will be totally fiery and full of energy, so put that to good use by pushing the envelope, saying things that everyone is thinking but no one has the courage to say, and exploring all the boundaries of your world. Today is a great day to try something that you have always been just a little too scared to try. Your fears are vanishing. If you want something today, ask for it. (If you don't, you may never get it!)"
"You know this project isn't worth the time unless there's a genuine purpose behind it. Not to worry! The stars are making this challenging for you, but in the spirit of fun, of course. Reward yourself for your efforts."
i'm attracting:
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
1. a job. now. close to home. with an easy drive. perfect hours (mon-fri between 8 and 4, part time). awesome bosses i can learn from and respect. wonderful coworkers i can have fun with. doing something stimulating and stress free. thank you!
2. money. to pay all of our bills, including rent. money to live on. money to pay back to my fun fund from my grandpa. money for the car and truck. thank you!
3. insight, drive and fearlessness to do this project that has just landed in my lap and can quite possibly lead to something huge. thank you!
4. passion in school. motivation to use my time there wisely, to learn what i need and want to on my own when the curriculum and schedule don't do it. excitement to be there. an open, friendly attitude toward my classmates. thank you!
5. quality time with my quality friends. every week. not just at a bar or a party getting drunk. time to get closer, to teach each other. thank you!
6. connection to family. even though they are far away. hearing their voices and news. my sister who is still here coming around and wanting to see me, or me being able to accept that she doesn't want me. spending time and having conversation with my larger family. feeling the love between us all. thank you!
7. a new awesome tattoo artist. one who is all about what we CAN do instead of what we CAN'T. one who wants MY ideas to come to life on my skin rather than taking my ideas and making them into his/her own versions. one who will brighten up and finish my beautiful calf sleeve, and beyond. thank you!
8. continuing improvement of my relationship. all of the physical, emotional, and mental support and connection we have now, increased. time every week to spend alone together. thank you!
9. continuing to live in our fabulous house, making our landlords happy. it would be especially nice if they put in washer/dryer hookups for us. thank you!
10. continuing my journey to the best health and physical shape of my life, and getting my boi to join me. thank you!
11. an awesome marketing plan for my boi's business. growing it so fast they can barely keep up. and an awesome marketing plan for my dad's website and online business. and while i'm at it, how about a marketing plan for my own business? thank you!
2. money. to pay all of our bills, including rent. money to live on. money to pay back to my fun fund from my grandpa. money for the car and truck. thank you!
3. insight, drive and fearlessness to do this project that has just landed in my lap and can quite possibly lead to something huge. thank you!
4. passion in school. motivation to use my time there wisely, to learn what i need and want to on my own when the curriculum and schedule don't do it. excitement to be there. an open, friendly attitude toward my classmates. thank you!
5. quality time with my quality friends. every week. not just at a bar or a party getting drunk. time to get closer, to teach each other. thank you!
6. connection to family. even though they are far away. hearing their voices and news. my sister who is still here coming around and wanting to see me, or me being able to accept that she doesn't want me. spending time and having conversation with my larger family. feeling the love between us all. thank you!
7. a new awesome tattoo artist. one who is all about what we CAN do instead of what we CAN'T. one who wants MY ideas to come to life on my skin rather than taking my ideas and making them into his/her own versions. one who will brighten up and finish my beautiful calf sleeve, and beyond. thank you!
8. continuing improvement of my relationship. all of the physical, emotional, and mental support and connection we have now, increased. time every week to spend alone together. thank you!
9. continuing to live in our fabulous house, making our landlords happy. it would be especially nice if they put in washer/dryer hookups for us. thank you!
10. continuing my journey to the best health and physical shape of my life, and getting my boi to join me. thank you!
11. an awesome marketing plan for my boi's business. growing it so fast they can barely keep up. and an awesome marketing plan for my dad's website and online business. and while i'm at it, how about a marketing plan for my own business? thank you!
for being back to you and all the great things that life has in store for you
its life
im glad ur back
ps ill msg u later cause im going for it
coloring my own hair
just wanna make sure the stuff i got from sally beautysupply will work
man im so glad ur ok