well, this is it.
in two days 8 of the 10 most important things (people) in my life will be a plane flight away, instead of a 15 minute drive.
my chldhood home, with my grampa's and dad's shops, the quad/bike tracks, the playhouses, the maypole, my grandmas pool, my grandmas house...
it will no longer be familiar territory.
it will be weeks (i am determined that it will not stretch to months) between hugs, everyone clamoring for my attention at once, playing my brothers chess and checkers, playing MASH with my sisters, visiting with my mom, reminiscing with my dad...
i have been strong up until this point, but now all i want to do is curl up and cry my eyes out.
it took me so long taking my family for granted (and hating them for years of my life) to get to the level of admiration, appreciation, support, love, joy, and absolute awe for each other we feel now.
this cannot be replaced.
i know it doesn't need to be.. but i already feel so EMPTY!
no more turning down my childhood street, walking up the driveway past the mailbox my daddy made, no more sprawling in the living room with everyone, no more going next door to grandma's house, no more swimming in grandma's pool like we've done every summer for 23 years. no more of anything that reminds me so much of my grampa...
i know you have to let go of things in order to make room for a better future...
but i really can't imagine anything better. i guess i better start make believing.
i just feel like i'm not only losing my contact with my family, i'm losing two childhood homes, and two shops i grew up in, and the yard with sooo many memories... it's just a lot all at once.
in two days 8 of the 10 most important things (people) in my life will be a plane flight away, instead of a 15 minute drive.
my chldhood home, with my grampa's and dad's shops, the quad/bike tracks, the playhouses, the maypole, my grandmas pool, my grandmas house...
it will no longer be familiar territory.
it will be weeks (i am determined that it will not stretch to months) between hugs, everyone clamoring for my attention at once, playing my brothers chess and checkers, playing MASH with my sisters, visiting with my mom, reminiscing with my dad...
i have been strong up until this point, but now all i want to do is curl up and cry my eyes out.
it took me so long taking my family for granted (and hating them for years of my life) to get to the level of admiration, appreciation, support, love, joy, and absolute awe for each other we feel now.
this cannot be replaced.
i know it doesn't need to be.. but i already feel so EMPTY!
no more turning down my childhood street, walking up the driveway past the mailbox my daddy made, no more sprawling in the living room with everyone, no more going next door to grandma's house, no more swimming in grandma's pool like we've done every summer for 23 years. no more of anything that reminds me so much of my grampa...
i know you have to let go of things in order to make room for a better future...
but i really can't imagine anything better. i guess i better start make believing.
i just feel like i'm not only losing my contact with my family, i'm losing two childhood homes, and two shops i grew up in, and the yard with sooo many memories... it's just a lot all at once.
ali_bug:
Use this experience to build your strength... Your really not losing anything, doll. You'll always have the memories! Keep them close to your heart and move on from there! Your family will always be there for you!!! Keep your chin up honey! I believe you will be fine! I think i would be hard, but i KNOW you can do it! Take care sweetie! 