i'm so happy and grateful now that...
i'm finally to the point where i don't want to smoke weed anymore. i like it still, but not nearly as much. i am just so much more 'me' and happy and in tune and present sober... which is great coz my whole life til a couple years ago i was constantly chasing 'that high' that i could never seem to reach on my own.. and finally i am feeling waay higher when i DON'T use any substances to 'enhance' my reality... directing my THOUGHTS is the best enhancement i could ever ask for.
i took the day off work. yeah, i know, it's irresponsible. too bad. i'm glad i did. i woke up this morning feeling such despair over having to get up.. i felt as if i hadn't slept in weeks.. so i said fuck it. my well being is more important than making my thirty hours. and i slept. and i slept. and i had wierd dreams... but somehow my rest this morning was better sleep than i have had in weeks at night.. and then my boi (who also took the day off.. mostly coz he wants to work on my dad's truck since my dad is giving him a welder for doing it) went to fetch some butter so i could have a fabulous english muffin breakfast. i only slept three extra hours on and off, but i feel like a new person. i think i may even go back to lazing in my wonderful sunlit bed for awhile after this.
since i took the day off, i do believe i will do my hair. i will bleach it and put either some red or some pink in. not sure which. there will be some stencilling or stamping involved though. god i love doing hair. especially mine, since it's so fabulous. haha. conceit? me? never.
we're going to the gym today. i love the gym. not only are there a zillion hot little college bitches, but it just feels SO good to move my ass. and the stair climber thingie is working it's magic. yay for tight round bottoms! now i just need a feisty girly to trade spankings with.
the air just FEELS good to me today. everything is so bright and fresh.. it actually feels kinda spring timey.
we have MONEY! we can do anything we want. including welding supplies and metal, tattoos, clothes, extensions, supercross, trips, building the car and truck... oh yeah and we can pay those wonderful bill things too... i'm SO excited that i'm doubling my income! i don't know how, but i know it's happening.
my mom is becoming more open to the law of attraction! it has been one of my most sincere wishes that she would learn to use it.. she is so used to focusing on the negative all the time.. i love her like crazy but it is draining talking to her because she never wants to look around and she how absolutely BLESSED she is and can be... i'm hoping she will watch oprah's (1/31, you guys should all watch it if you can) show on the Secret, and from there hopefully she will be open to watching the Secret itself...i got her a book for her birthday that she didn't seem too thrilled about but said she would read it anyway..open your mind to receive.. we'll see how that goes.. i don't want her to think i'm forcing this stuff down her throat like she forced christianity down mine.. but i want her to see how much being positive can change her life and the family's life for the better... i'm grateful we can at least talk about this stuff now.
i'm loving playing my piano! the tougher songs sound like i'm a beginner because i'm still getting my feel back and relearning to read music.. but some of the songs are just MAGIC.. so soothing and beautiful to feel that music coming from my own fingertips..
my house is clean, my car is spotless, and almost all my errands are done. this after another hectic weekend, but it was worth it.
i'm thankful, as usual, for my family...i had a great time watching the original star wars (not the new edited version, the o.g. on VHS!) with them last night even though i started falling asleep twenty minutes into it.. they are so funny! i love how we all have conversation and commentary throughout the whole movie.. we can never just sit and shut up and WATCH a movie.. it's always an interactive affair.. they are SO funny... i kept dozing off then someone would make a funny quip and i'd wake up and chuckle...they are moving in less than a month! i can't wait to go visit them after they start their new life!
i feel good. and there's a pennywise show this weekend.
you know what? i even feel good about the fact that my best friend of ten + years and i seem to be growing apart. you know that line in the Secret where they say 'law of attraction will not put you in the same space together, you'll zig while they zag' ? that's a perfect description of what's been happening with us for months now. we just cannot seem to coordinate hanging out.. i've only seen her twice in the past three months.. both times at parties, not quality time.. i refuse to think of how much i miss our times together and how much it sucks that we never hang out anymore.. instead i'm focused on the fact that i've been asking the universe for friends who are on the same level as i am.. and opening myself to letting people like that into my life... maybe that means lettin go of one last person who the 'old' me knew and loved...my sister thinks i suck for thinking this way, that i'm 'ditching' my friend..but i'm not ditching anyone. i'm just letting the law of attraction do its work. if Tea and i are meant to be close again, if we're meant to be in each others' lives, we'll be drawn to each other, and time to hang out will just appear...which i'm hoping it will.. i love that girl.
have a fabulous day lovelies, i know i am!
i'm finally to the point where i don't want to smoke weed anymore. i like it still, but not nearly as much. i am just so much more 'me' and happy and in tune and present sober... which is great coz my whole life til a couple years ago i was constantly chasing 'that high' that i could never seem to reach on my own.. and finally i am feeling waay higher when i DON'T use any substances to 'enhance' my reality... directing my THOUGHTS is the best enhancement i could ever ask for.
i took the day off work. yeah, i know, it's irresponsible. too bad. i'm glad i did. i woke up this morning feeling such despair over having to get up.. i felt as if i hadn't slept in weeks.. so i said fuck it. my well being is more important than making my thirty hours. and i slept. and i slept. and i had wierd dreams... but somehow my rest this morning was better sleep than i have had in weeks at night.. and then my boi (who also took the day off.. mostly coz he wants to work on my dad's truck since my dad is giving him a welder for doing it) went to fetch some butter so i could have a fabulous english muffin breakfast. i only slept three extra hours on and off, but i feel like a new person. i think i may even go back to lazing in my wonderful sunlit bed for awhile after this.
since i took the day off, i do believe i will do my hair. i will bleach it and put either some red or some pink in. not sure which. there will be some stencilling or stamping involved though. god i love doing hair. especially mine, since it's so fabulous. haha. conceit? me? never.
we're going to the gym today. i love the gym. not only are there a zillion hot little college bitches, but it just feels SO good to move my ass. and the stair climber thingie is working it's magic. yay for tight round bottoms! now i just need a feisty girly to trade spankings with.
the air just FEELS good to me today. everything is so bright and fresh.. it actually feels kinda spring timey.
we have MONEY! we can do anything we want. including welding supplies and metal, tattoos, clothes, extensions, supercross, trips, building the car and truck... oh yeah and we can pay those wonderful bill things too... i'm SO excited that i'm doubling my income! i don't know how, but i know it's happening.
my mom is becoming more open to the law of attraction! it has been one of my most sincere wishes that she would learn to use it.. she is so used to focusing on the negative all the time.. i love her like crazy but it is draining talking to her because she never wants to look around and she how absolutely BLESSED she is and can be... i'm hoping she will watch oprah's (1/31, you guys should all watch it if you can) show on the Secret, and from there hopefully she will be open to watching the Secret itself...i got her a book for her birthday that she didn't seem too thrilled about but said she would read it anyway..open your mind to receive.. we'll see how that goes.. i don't want her to think i'm forcing this stuff down her throat like she forced christianity down mine.. but i want her to see how much being positive can change her life and the family's life for the better... i'm grateful we can at least talk about this stuff now.
i'm loving playing my piano! the tougher songs sound like i'm a beginner because i'm still getting my feel back and relearning to read music.. but some of the songs are just MAGIC.. so soothing and beautiful to feel that music coming from my own fingertips..
my house is clean, my car is spotless, and almost all my errands are done. this after another hectic weekend, but it was worth it.
i'm thankful, as usual, for my family...i had a great time watching the original star wars (not the new edited version, the o.g. on VHS!) with them last night even though i started falling asleep twenty minutes into it.. they are so funny! i love how we all have conversation and commentary throughout the whole movie.. we can never just sit and shut up and WATCH a movie.. it's always an interactive affair.. they are SO funny... i kept dozing off then someone would make a funny quip and i'd wake up and chuckle...they are moving in less than a month! i can't wait to go visit them after they start their new life!
i feel good. and there's a pennywise show this weekend.
you know what? i even feel good about the fact that my best friend of ten + years and i seem to be growing apart. you know that line in the Secret where they say 'law of attraction will not put you in the same space together, you'll zig while they zag' ? that's a perfect description of what's been happening with us for months now. we just cannot seem to coordinate hanging out.. i've only seen her twice in the past three months.. both times at parties, not quality time.. i refuse to think of how much i miss our times together and how much it sucks that we never hang out anymore.. instead i'm focused on the fact that i've been asking the universe for friends who are on the same level as i am.. and opening myself to letting people like that into my life... maybe that means lettin go of one last person who the 'old' me knew and loved...my sister thinks i suck for thinking this way, that i'm 'ditching' my friend..but i'm not ditching anyone. i'm just letting the law of attraction do its work. if Tea and i are meant to be close again, if we're meant to be in each others' lives, we'll be drawn to each other, and time to hang out will just appear...which i'm hoping it will.. i love that girl.
have a fabulous day lovelies, i know i am!
"you know what? i even feel good about the fact that my best friend of ten + years and i seem to be growing apart. you know that line in the Secret where they say 'law of attraction will not put you in the same space together, you'll zig while they zag' ? that's a perfect description of what's been happening with us for months now. we just cannot seem to coordinate to hang out.. i've only seen her twice in the past three months.. both times at parties, not quality time.. i refuse to think of how much i miss our times together and how much it sucks that we never hang out anymore.. instead i'm focused on the fact that i've been asking the universe for friends who are on the same level as i am.. and opening myself to letting people like that into my life... maybe that means lettin go of one last person who the 'old' me knew and loved...my sister thinks i suck for thinking this way, that i'm 'ditching' my friend..but i'm not ditching anyone. i'm just letting the law of attraction do its work. if Tea and i are meant to be close again, if we're meant to be in each others' lives, we'll be drawn to each other, and time to hang out will just appear."
at first its a little hard to do, but i think its the focusing on the negative aspect of it that makes it like that. i love the feeling of surrounding myself with positive people with like minds, than to just be stuck in someone elses negative cycle out of love? im not sure if its love that keeps one there or not...
enjoy your day off!
That is how i felt when i worked two jobs.... Thankfully i don't do that anymore!!
AND YOUR AN OPRAH LOVER TOO!!!! We were MEANT to meet eachother! I love her because she is SOOO inspiring! She SCREAMS positive! YAY FOR OPRAH!
And i hope your momma begins to be a little more positive because once she does, it will seem like all her problems are more like an experience of life. Not a burden! It takes a lot to train your brain to think in that way though.... I have faith she will!
You have the BESTEST day off babe!