_burn_

today is balls

its a good thing I don't own any weapons.

I wish I was in bed. I really wish I could've just skipped today. I have no idea why I am so miserable, and why EVERYONE is treating me like shit today.

I hate people today. I really, really loathe everyone today. I also wish I had money, but I don't. SO even if I went to the club tonight, I wouldn't be able to drink my night away. So that means when I finally drag my ass home tonight, I will be broke, sober AND ALONE.

Not a good mental combination on a day like today.

god damn I need a girlfriend.. or a pool boy.. SOMETHING!

I went to embers briefly after work, hoping somebody I knew would be there to just hang out with.. Nothing. I ended up walking home from downtown, in the rain. The rain wasn't so bad. I can deal with that.. Its the whole coming home alone again thing thats really starting to get irritating.

I know my schedule isn't the most condusive to a social life, let alone meeting new people, but you'd think that like after almost a year of this I'd be a little better off then I was when I started this whole thing.

funny how some things change, yet stay so painfully the same.

Perhaps tomorrow will be better. Thats what I keep telling myself anyway. One day it will become true. It must.