_bossanova_

Blech. I feel like shit this morning. Last night I was feeling better, but I woke up after a few hours with horrible chills (it's around 61 degrees here, not cold at all) and crawled into bed with my brother to stay warm. He got all pissed but I refused to go back to my bed, where I'd been freezing my ass off. A few hours after that, I woke up burning up with fever and had to go to my room to cool off. I need to go to the doctor, but I am too tired. I'm going to see if Daniel can take me later.

I had a miserable dream about my ex last night. I dreamt that we somehow met up again (while I was in Atlanta for the holidays I avoided him like the plague), and he was so upset because I'd slept with other people since leaving him in November. He was so angry, and of course I was angry, because he fucking cheated on me for three years! The weird thing was, I could feel that part of me that used to love him wanting him to stop being angry with me. This tiny part of me wanted him to say that he was angry because he loved me. Anyways, it was a weird dream because it made me feel like I haven't let go of him yet, and I obviously need to. I wish I could erase the seven years we were together from my memory. I wouldn't have such a hard time trusting myself or other people, and I wouldn't be so quick to assume I disappoint everyone in my life. I did not need to have that dream this morning.

I hope you all are having a good Friday. What are you doing this weekend?