_bonnie_1

Sugar Plums and Fairies
Dance in my head
Drinks make me Dizzy
I smile
and it doesn't feel plastic anymore
why was this so hard for so long?
I dream of you in red
a four alarm fire
a passionate rush
my love for you
Feels Criminal
Falling blind to my neurotic nature
For 6 months
While you stood by
and held my hand
and waited
Patiently
For my return to earth
I weep for the suffering
I caused you
I weep for the Love
I took advantage of
I weep my apologetic sobs
Which you accept with grace
but tell me have no use here
I weep now only in joyous streams
for the Love you give
the patience you've shown
Keep in mind this wasn't a test
...i'm not that neurotic....
But you gave me room to heal
and room to mourn
room to ask why?
the most ridculous question on earth
And you listened and waited

I can't believe whats happening inside my head
the thoughts and ideas
creativity I've repressed for months
because I couldn't fiqure out what was wrong

I was Wrong

But now, in what feels like Superstar Mode, I'm ready to write those wrongs
and right those wrongs
I dream of dancing with you
in silent meadows
and Screaming your name in passionate thundering lust
and falling asleep with you in any space avalible
I want to watch you succeed
I want to see your eyes light up with good news and good cheer
Feeling fortunate enough to see you smile
Whispers in the dark
Silly jokes to rise with dawn
your vehicle driving up on the gravel
and me running to the mirror to make sure I look good for you
...i hadn't done that in months and i caught myself doing it the other day... God it's good to be me, again
I follow you around the room with my eye lids shut
did you know that?
I listen to your pulse when we sleep
Your eyelids flutter when you're dreaming
did you know that?
anyway, i think this is a long apology
or maybe I'm just letting you know where I'm at
that after all this craziness
I'm not hiding anything
I just feel that much better
Like the girl you used to know

and she still can't stop thinking about you.