willdabeast

a study on the history of social interaction amongst the aboriginal tribes of south-west lower michigan (or why a republican eunuch gets more girls than i do)


the events of the week have supplanted
my normal trip down memory lane this day.

still no word from my girlfriend. one of 4 things have happened
1) she is thinking about what i wrote seriously

2) she is crying her eyes out

3) she now hates me

4) she has killed herself*

* note this is not meant be funny, as i have talked her out of a previous suicide attempt.

if things don't change between her and i over the year as i have suggested i will break it off with her.

if that does happen i will not allow myself to ever get that close to someone again. no. never. i swear it!

it just takes too much out of me........

i'll be pals, friends, companions, etc. with women but never again will i be a boyfriend. they can do what ever the hell they want. i don't want to own anybody ever as i don't want to be property.

granted my relationships have been few and far between. but i think that is due to my attitude towards women i general

i just don't see the point of trying to impress, seduce or otherwise influence womens opinions of me.

i'm not comfortable lying to get what i want. if i can't be accepted for who i am flaws and all then it's their loss not mine.

i always find that the most amazing things happen out of the ordinary routines of our lives. like not trying to " go out" or " be with" any one certain person. but just noticing someone during the couse of our day, seeing them at the most honest, most vulnerable time. when we have dropped all pretense and are ourselves.

i guess that's all i have to say on the subject. and really these are just the observations of a lifelong outsider.