violet

I had a dream of a baby alligator who was sick with hunger was biting my finger, after I had let it out of a leather bag. I looked it up in the dream dictionary and this is what it means.

A sick baby is a sign of trouble in either business or romance,

ALLIGATOR
This is a warning. Be cautious of enemies in anything...
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The innocence is gone,
The trust is blown away,
I cannot see the truth,
for I know not where it lays.

I thought that you loved me,
I thought that you cared,
but really it is something "true"
is why you are so scared.

Can I ever trust you again?
the boy who is so ashamed,
the one who does not let me stay,
the...
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Happpy Fourth O july.... I need to get laid to celebrate my independence day...that's what the Fourth is for right? Getting laid and stuff...? right!

I have had some seriously fucked up dreams lately. The first dream happened about two nights ago, I had this dream that this boy that I am dating was really someone else but it was still him, and he had an affair with my mother. That was just weird, my mom in the dream was sooooo in love with him, but she was too embarrassed...
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Sooo sleepyyy...must sleeppppp....school started and i gotta do good so i can be smart and stuff......

I miss John B. Mackin...ooohhhh so much.....i hope i see him soon the cutie patootie.....

I have a great masturbation shower i will tell y'all tomorrow, right now i am too sleepy!!! grrrrr....

Last night, I went to sushi with my friend Dan. Dan is such a kick in the pants, I love the kid to death. I took him to his first sushi experience and we decided to do something called a russian roulette.. It's this REALLY good sushi roll that is about 6-8 pieces, one of the rolls is so hot that whoever gets it loses...
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So I am still not an official suicide girl... Although Al is freaking hot as hell, I am happy she got posted. I had an interesting night last night, I made the rounds to visit my friends. I started with visitng Angie, she had made this toxic vodka lime/lemon/sugar concoction that was fucking up everyone who was partying at this house. I stole her away...
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I had dreams last night that today i would be the newest suicide girl..... is it gonna happen? I guess we will find out later today.

What's up with weird guys who sing religious ballads at karoke night? I saw this scary axe murderer type of guy singing some gaylordfalker type of song at karoke night at this lame bar in Eugene. he was wearing a suit and tie about the age of 22-25, and looking like a bucktoothed psycho religious serial killer. I sat there as he very belted at...
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i have no idea if i am getting launched this Friday or not, but unfortunately for yer all's reading pleasure, this fiesty little biznitch is going out of town...with NO access to a computer for a couple days maybe almost a week.....we'll see.... If I do get launched today well then have fun boys and girls with my pictorial debut. If not, then leave me...
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i told a secret today
he listened and spoke words of comfort
it feels so good
to say what i want
feel what i feel
without fear that he will run
he likes to know me
the more he knows the more he cares
i wish he didn't live so far away
it's ok
absence makes the heart grow fonder
or yonder
can't do much...
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Once again i sit here working in front of my computer... Let's see what my day consisted of..

Noon- Wake up to 18 year old boy toy... sheesh he needed to go home. I was not in a good mood this morning and feening to be by myself. Took him home and realized my car's leather seats are not that comfy in the hot summer...
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