TEENAGERS ARE FUCKING DUMBASSES: PART DUEX
When I was a kid and still lived at my parents house, my mom swore vengence on me. She use to say that when I had my own place, she was going to come over and dump Koo-Aid all over the place to see how I liked it. Well, the time of reckoning is at hand and the wheels...
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When I was a kid and still lived at my parents house, my mom swore vengence on me. She use to say that when I had my own place, she was going to come over and dump Koo-Aid all over the place to see how I liked it. Well, the time of reckoning is at hand and the wheels...
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VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
When I first came to this site, I didn't have anything but a bag full of sass and a nutsack full of mean streak. I just ended my marriage and I was looking for the fastest way to people's bad side because I got off on it for some reason. Nothing's really changed, but I have unexpectedly met some people that are all kinds of...
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VIEW 25 of 31 COMMENTS
wraith7000:
Tryin' to pick up chicks with my dix? Silly rabbit, dix are for kids...i mean..wait..oh..yeah, I mean..no..or maybe sometimes yeah...I'm doomed 
beatrice:
are you dying or something? 12 steps? and i was *trying* to be mysterious. i added pics. now i guess i'm real, if not a tad more boring.
BLACK RAGE: PART II
I swear I don't think I'm black.
My family is fucking hardcore. Allow me to provide a little background into this statement before I jump into the events of this weekend.
My dad moved to my hometown during a time when they were just discovering black people in that area. This made him one of about eight other black residents in...
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I swear I don't think I'm black.
My family is fucking hardcore. Allow me to provide a little background into this statement before I jump into the events of this weekend.
My dad moved to my hometown during a time when they were just discovering black people in that area. This made him one of about eight other black residents in...
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VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
saintbrat:
My old man always said, son, you may get bigger than I am, stronger than, I am, or richer than I am, just remember, son, I love you but, you will NEVER be as MOTHERFUCKING MEAN as I am.
Dads RULE!
Dads RULE!
helm:
My wife is black. So ha, I showed you all!!!
Or something.
Or something.
VANILLA SLICE
Whitey Saves Us Again!
Ever since the inexplicable race cleansing of the Middle Eastern born Jesus Christ, the entertainment industry has continuously paid homage to the one golden truth: for every lower race incabable of saving themselves from danger, there is one white savior waiting to show them the true way of their people. In a move that is admittedly shallow, yet totally...
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Whitey Saves Us Again!
Ever since the inexplicable race cleansing of the Middle Eastern born Jesus Christ, the entertainment industry has continuously paid homage to the one golden truth: for every lower race incabable of saving themselves from danger, there is one white savior waiting to show them the true way of their people. In a move that is admittedly shallow, yet totally...
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VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
themadking:
Hey, for the record, Dances With Wolves wasn't about Kevin Costner saving anyone. It was about him realizing that beating up on the poor, ignorant injuns was bad, but then further realizing that if he wasn't doing it someone else would. Then... You know, I guess I don't remember how that one ends. So, you're probably right. Nevermind.
richiedagger:
hahahaha....Jocko McTouchdown.
thats beautiful im writing that one down.
thats beautiful im writing that one down.
Some people out there (*cough* girls *cough*) tend to ask me why ninjas are so popular with boys between the ages 20-28. So as yet another public service to my beloved species, I present:
The History of the Ninja: 1500 A.D. to Now A.D. Why Are They So Rad?
15?? - About five hundred years ago, ninjas roamed the land free and wild. They ruled...
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The History of the Ninja: 1500 A.D. to Now A.D. Why Are They So Rad?
15?? - About five hundred years ago, ninjas roamed the land free and wild. They ruled...
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VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
seth0067:
i need to go back and read all your stuff when you have time.
we're talking about an early happy hour tomorrow - Thursday - what do yoiu think?
we're talking about an early happy hour tomorrow - Thursday - what do yoiu think?
jonasthewhale:
seriously dude, I had to hold my belly when I read that shizzle
International Male. The new band from some local Colorado boys who moved to New York like the rest of us has come. If you are one of the fifty people who ever listened to Warlock Pinchers or Foreskin 500, give my boys in International Male a try. How can you go wrong with lyrics like these?
Hotel Chelsea:
"They think that we're cool
Cause...
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Hotel Chelsea:
"They think that we're cool
Cause...
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
azura:
I'd hope so. They're girly undies! 
clara:
You're ok with me.
For any of you wondering about the circumstances that lead to my brother moving in with me here in NY, just read the following article from our hometown's local paper.
Lorenz Preaches Hate
In 1999, Perry Lorenz stated in the San Jose Mercury News that he was leaving California to escape multiculturalism. He was quoted as saying that he was moving "to a whiter place...
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Lorenz Preaches Hate
In 1999, Perry Lorenz stated in the San Jose Mercury News that he was leaving California to escape multiculturalism. He was quoted as saying that he was moving "to a whiter place...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
clara:
That's what I was getting at.
clara:
Why don't you just pee on me?
UNNECESSARY Z PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
It has come to my attention that as many as two or three of you are curious as to why I only receive enjoyment from shitty movies. After all, I did waste a few years of my life going to film school in what might have been an attempt to learn the ancient and deadly art of filmmaking. "Don't film...
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It has come to my attention that as many as two or three of you are curious as to why I only receive enjoyment from shitty movies. After all, I did waste a few years of my life going to film school in what might have been an attempt to learn the ancient and deadly art of filmmaking. "Don't film...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
waxangel:
hm
waxangel:
stop it, stupid 1997 computer!
[Edited on Oct 16, 2003 10:08AM]
[Edited on Oct 16, 2003 10:08AM]
We interupt this weeks episode of Tomorrow Stories to bring you this special announcement:
Unless your ears are crazy, you should just shut up and buy Speakerboxxx/The Love Below by our caring players Outkast. Keep in mind that this beautiful double album is not to be compared against itself, but enjoyed on two different levels. One rocks your body while the other rocks your soul....
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Unless your ears are crazy, you should just shut up and buy Speakerboxxx/The Love Below by our caring players Outkast. Keep in mind that this beautiful double album is not to be compared against itself, but enjoyed on two different levels. One rocks your body while the other rocks your soul....
Read More
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
kikka:
s'more
just kidding
just kidding
marymary:
dude, you make one sexy ass bitch.... you best be dressed up like your cosmo makeover when you come over to play halo.
Tomorrow Adventures with Crash Bangin'!: Part II: Hyper Nuclear Boogaloo
In a surprise move by our loyal audience, Crash Bangin's fate has been cruelly guided toward an inevitable collision course with his former wife, The X! When we last left our intergalactic hero, he just finished a last minute "meeting" with some very nasty business men, courtesy of The Ad Execu-Tor!
Crash: Well, Receptotron, that...
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In a surprise move by our loyal audience, Crash Bangin's fate has been cruelly guided toward an inevitable collision course with his former wife, The X! When we last left our intergalactic hero, he just finished a last minute "meeting" with some very nasty business men, courtesy of The Ad Execu-Tor!
Crash: Well, Receptotron, that...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
gram:
d) they both decide to put their differences aside, head to the village, pick up a rich 19 yr old nue-feminist and get her to spend tons of cash on drugs, booze, a room at the tribeca grand, roomservice and a long 3 day bing of sex, crack, and midget prostitutes.
oh, and yes, chris "royale" regis got shot in the back by the police, but i knew you was kiddin' and i aint that sensitive. i was fuckin wit' ya!
oh, and yes, chris "royale" regis got shot in the back by the police, but i knew you was kiddin' and i aint that sensitive. i was fuckin wit' ya!
richiedagger:
why the hell is A even an option. clearly the only solution to this problem is B.
oh by the way...ill kill anyone for 81 dollars. just ummm throwing that out there, incase theres somebody that you have a lot of pent up anger against.
oh by the way...ill kill anyone for 81 dollars. just ummm throwing that out there, incase theres somebody that you have a lot of pent up anger against.
Tomorrow Adventures with Crash Bangin'!
It's a beautiful fall day in the metropolis, the start of another peaceful morning for our hero, Crash Bangin': Intergalactic Office Manager from Beyond.
Crash: Ahhhh what a fantastic morning! Rather than take the train to work, I think I'll...take to the skies instead!
Peeeowwwwwww!
Crash blasts through the clouds via his favorite mode of trasportatioin: Radtonian Rocket Boots!...
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It's a beautiful fall day in the metropolis, the start of another peaceful morning for our hero, Crash Bangin': Intergalactic Office Manager from Beyond.
Crash: Ahhhh what a fantastic morning! Rather than take the train to work, I think I'll...take to the skies instead!
Peeeowwwwwww!
Crash blasts through the clouds via his favorite mode of trasportatioin: Radtonian Rocket Boots!...
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
gram:
umm, i was here to break some shit off on ya that would make you spontaniously cumbust, but that shit is just crazy.
funny, man, but you will get yours pappito!
some of the quick kill klique just happen to use walkers these days, THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!!!
jerk.
funny, man, but you will get yours pappito!
some of the quick kill klique just happen to use walkers these days, THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!!!
jerk.
clara:
That stuff is pee your pants scary! 
Jesus. Some serious shit went down in my last journal entry that I wasn't expecting. I was savagely attacked by both rap and breakdance within an hour of each other, MisterSatan's pants exploded seconds before he blasted off into the clouds, and more people than I thought was normal expressed interest and/or joy in regards to my new Mach 3, or Razor of the Apocalypse...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
troglodyte:
Yeah, sometimes it's great to be you, but most of the time I bet it sucks.
userlame:
bwaaahahahaha that is awesome. i need one of those so bad. sigh. sometimes it sucks to be me. me without an oversized razor that is.
so thank you.
kikka, the naive alien.