It has been brought to my attention that as many as most to all of you take one look at my lengthy journal entries and immediately click the back button on your browser. Most of you attribute this to a lack of time or whatever, but I don't buy that since one look into most of your recent comment logs will reveal mind-melting amounts of...
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VIEW 25 of 50 COMMENTS
soeffinhappy:
I'm not too worried about being wiped out by stronger, faster members. I make up for it with stupid faces.
tank_ex_mortis:
I refuse to say that. But if you stop with your longityness, I'll kill you.
Seriously bitch! Get out tha way!
I'm going to do something I haven't done in an incredibly long time: I'm going to update you with as much factual informatioin as possible with as little ninja referencing my limited brain can handle. So after having left my ninja compound in Ninja Land to see the Pacific north-west, I can only say that it's too fucking cold...
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I'm going to do something I haven't done in an incredibly long time: I'm going to update you with as much factual informatioin as possible with as little ninja referencing my limited brain can handle. So after having left my ninja compound in Ninja Land to see the Pacific north-west, I can only say that it's too fucking cold...
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VIEW 25 of 37 COMMENTS
irina:
Really nice to meet you last night! Now get me a fucking job!!!
johnnydelicious:
Is the Silent Hill piss in the Arlene's Grocery pisser? Trying to remember which places look like that when you don't visit any of them sober has made me second guess my ability to photographically recall every pee I have ever taken. Thank you Mr. Pabst.
Retro Journal!!!
Since I'm too busy getting ready for my Portland/Seattle trip to come up with anything entertaining, and I really hate telling mysterious online strangers too much factual information about myself, I've invoked the time honored Hollywood tradition of the clip-show. Much like a sitcom where the characters use the staff writer's laziness as a tool to reflect, the only new material you're likely...
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Since I'm too busy getting ready for my Portland/Seattle trip to come up with anything entertaining, and I really hate telling mysterious online strangers too much factual information about myself, I've invoked the time honored Hollywood tradition of the clip-show. Much like a sitcom where the characters use the staff writer's laziness as a tool to reflect, the only new material you're likely...
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VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
hatefulerin:
as someone who was voted "Most likely to become a nazi" like... a year ago, i'm in favor of any cartoon in which black people get what's coming to them.
yes, i'm replying to a 3 week old journal comment.
and your journal is too long for me to read.
yes, i'm replying to a 3 week old journal comment.
and your journal is too long for me to read.
hatefulerin:
oh shit, really? are you still in seattle-ish area, then?
I Got Served
There are only a few constants you can count on when it comes to me: I will live, I will die, and I will always pay money to see a movie about street dancing. This weekend was no exception. So forget what you think you know about the streets, because You Got Served shatters any notion you could have ever had, and...
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There are only a few constants you can count on when it comes to me: I will live, I will die, and I will always pay money to see a movie about street dancing. This weekend was no exception. So forget what you think you know about the streets, because You Got Served shatters any notion you could have ever had, and...
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VIEW 25 of 52 COMMENTS
jena:
oh god my roomie saw the commercial for that movie and said "Oh i wonder if your ex is going to see that", this was when i had to serve him w/ court papers, i DIED laughing.
Nice meeting you last week!! i'll be back in NY next week.
Nice meeting you last week!! i'll be back in NY next week.
clara:
Hey, baldy. How you doin'?
What a Newspaper Would Look Like if I Were Empresident of the Universe
Politics
Empresident Z has just been elected to his fifteenth consecutive term in the most powerful office known to man, robo-man, and beast-man. The victory is said to be largely attributed to his highly vaunted "Oral Sex Your Neighbor Day", which has just been expanded to occupy the entire Earth calendar year....
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Politics
Empresident Z has just been elected to his fifteenth consecutive term in the most powerful office known to man, robo-man, and beast-man. The victory is said to be largely attributed to his highly vaunted "Oral Sex Your Neighbor Day", which has just been expanded to occupy the entire Earth calendar year....
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VIEW 25 of 41 COMMENTS
er:
thanks babe
glad to see you're finally embracing your homosexuality
good for you, brave lil Z
see ya
glad to see you're finally embracing your homosexuality
good for you, brave lil Z
see ya
wraith7000:
Empresident...is that like emfamous?...you know, more than famous
THE ORIGIN
In observance of Marting Luther King Day, I have decided to reveal the origin of my NAACP compliant alter-ego, Legally Black.
1976 - The mother of Legally Black meets, marries, and does her thing with a man of unknown Latino descent. The possiblilities of the man being from outer-space have not been completely ruled out.
1977 - Latino space man gets cold feet...
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In observance of Marting Luther King Day, I have decided to reveal the origin of my NAACP compliant alter-ego, Legally Black.
1976 - The mother of Legally Black meets, marries, and does her thing with a man of unknown Latino descent. The possiblilities of the man being from outer-space have not been completely ruled out.
1977 - Latino space man gets cold feet...
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VIEW 25 of 43 COMMENTS
minimalism:
Snakemann wants to be added to your friend's list. [approve] [delete]
freyja__:
*coughthisisaweekoldcough*
So as most of you may already know, I don't usually like keeping you up to date on anything that's actually happening in my life. I'd rather use the space to trick you into believing that I'm some sort of anti-matter space ninja with uncanny sexual powers. I don't do this because I'm some highly guarded government secret, I do it because other than the...
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VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
misterusername:
Yo, you have smoke screens? I carry a bag of confusion powder around with me that I blow in people faces. This shit gives me the power to confuse people long enough so I can kick them in the balls and take their Rolex.
Have you ever seen the book abou how to be an Urban Ninja? You should check it out, it's dope.
All black people are time bombs. That's because a mad scientist in Africa made a bunch of robots with self-destruct sequences pre-programmed and called them Africans. He was a European dude who was mad at the Pope because he wouldn't let him into the boy orgies at the Vatican. So he took his flying ship to Africa and mad a bunch of black robots for the Europeans to enslave and ship around the world. Now they just blow up everywhere. Fucker.
Mad scientists are a plague.
Best dance music ever is that group Eifle 65 with their hit single 'Blue'.
Have you ever seen the book abou how to be an Urban Ninja? You should check it out, it's dope.
All black people are time bombs. That's because a mad scientist in Africa made a bunch of robots with self-destruct sequences pre-programmed and called them Africans. He was a European dude who was mad at the Pope because he wouldn't let him into the boy orgies at the Vatican. So he took his flying ship to Africa and mad a bunch of black robots for the Europeans to enslave and ship around the world. Now they just blow up everywhere. Fucker.
Mad scientists are a plague.
Best dance music ever is that group Eifle 65 with their hit single 'Blue'.
wraith7000:
Ah Yes, a fine time at the arcade is much better than an akward tricksey time avoiding accidental ball touchings anyday...
I'll obtain communication info from the errrrrrr when I arrive in yo fine town.
I'll obtain communication info from the errrrrrr when I arrive in yo fine town.
Unnecessary Z Break Dancin' on Yo Planet Once Again!
Here's a simple rule that will probably always be applicable to your everyday life: Never travel into outer-space. It's cold, there's twice as many laser related crimes, and the Space Police have little to no actual laws regarding jet packs. I thought it would be cool to see the galaxy up close at first, but it...
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Here's a simple rule that will probably always be applicable to your everyday life: Never travel into outer-space. It's cold, there's twice as many laser related crimes, and the Space Police have little to no actual laws regarding jet packs. I thought it would be cool to see the galaxy up close at first, but it...
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VIEW 25 of 41 COMMENTS
wraith7000:
Hey woman!
i'll be in your city next week, we should grab beers and look at transformers
i'll be in your city next week, we should grab beers and look at transformers
raglegumm:
Yeah I know, I try too hard. I just really wanted to put that poster pic in a thread, though.
Things I learned this weekend
- After watching "The Last Samurai", I have discovered that I'm way better at reviewing movies before I actually see them than I am after sleeping through them.
- It turns out that needing sleep to function properly was NOT a lie created by motivational speakers to help us nurture our imaginations.
- My arrival at a party signals awkward...
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- After watching "The Last Samurai", I have discovered that I'm way better at reviewing movies before I actually see them than I am after sleeping through them.
- It turns out that needing sleep to function properly was NOT a lie created by motivational speakers to help us nurture our imaginations.
- My arrival at a party signals awkward...
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VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
skryche:
Happy New Year. But more importantly: are you coming tonight, or what?
gram:
whaaat?
nigga, you betta start responding to ma advances!!! what, you don't looooove anymo'?
nigga, you betta start responding to ma advances!!! what, you don't looooove anymo'?
I'm going to spend the next few sentences telling you why you should immediately see the film "Honey". It is also entirely possible you'll be overcome with the sudden need to grab a torch and form an angry mob with the sole intention of storming my face. But I don't care, because "Honey" is fucking dope and I'll take a face storming to represent.
I...
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I...
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VIEW 25 of 52 COMMENTS
uncognitive:
No, I must have gotten off the train before Clumsy Drunk Dude Avenue, probably around No Goddamn Trains For The Next Hour In The Freezing Cold Boulevard.
Admittedly, I probably would have laughed, because I'm an evil bastard. Assuming the pratfall didn't involve spurting blood or permanent nerve damage. I'm such the humanitarian.
Personally, I'm waiting for Honey 2:Electric Boogaloo, or Tougher Than Honey, or Honey 3:Jessica Alba Drops The "No Nudity" Clause.
Admittedly, I probably would have laughed, because I'm an evil bastard. Assuming the pratfall didn't involve spurting blood or permanent nerve damage. I'm such the humanitarian.
Personally, I'm waiting for Honey 2:Electric Boogaloo, or Tougher Than Honey, or Honey 3:Jessica Alba Drops The "No Nudity" Clause.
marymary:
hahahahaha hip hop dancer! haha
Z's Ginganterrific Coming out Part-ay!
Let today be remembered as the day I became an official member and subsequent leader of Queer Nation. I'm talking real gay here too, not the ironic "geigh" that became slightly popular on SG. I'm talking about being on permantent active duty on the Glory Hole Patrol. Allow me to cast light on this by using the timeless method of...
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Let today be remembered as the day I became an official member and subsequent leader of Queer Nation. I'm talking real gay here too, not the ironic "geigh" that became slightly popular on SG. I'm talking about being on permantent active duty on the Glory Hole Patrol. Allow me to cast light on this by using the timeless method of...
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VIEW 25 of 43 COMMENTS
sinamen:
Awe, you sexy cock-slinger you. Keep it nice before those domestic violence stats get all hiked up.
That goes for both pieces of bread in this love sandwich...
And salad tossing? I don't even know what you mean. Do I need to look closer?
Miss you Ass
That goes for both pieces of bread in this love sandwich...
And salad tossing? I don't even know what you mean. Do I need to look closer?
Miss you Ass
johnnyfive:
cool. i've never really seen anyone come out of the closet. it's like watching mutual ohmaha's wild kingdom.
good luck with the new lifestyle.
good luck with the new lifestyle.
Things I would do if I didn't have to work
- Draw elaborate pictures of ninjas fighting their way through one trap and moster laden room after another. It is my intention that these pictures would connect to form a single awesome dungeon.
- Write, film, and star in groundbreaking pornography that changed the way of the old guard by completely getting rid of the...
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- Draw elaborate pictures of ninjas fighting their way through one trap and moster laden room after another. It is my intention that these pictures would connect to form a single awesome dungeon.
- Write, film, and star in groundbreaking pornography that changed the way of the old guard by completely getting rid of the...
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VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
joshof13thfloor:
Hey man, just for the record all that bullshit i was spouting your way yesterday on the boards was exactly that...bullshit.
I just like to fuck about and tell stupid jokes. It was nothing personal and if i offended you then i apologize.
I just wanna be straight about everything. S'cool?
I just like to fuck about and tell stupid jokes. It was nothing personal and if i offended you then i apologize.
I just wanna be straight about everything. S'cool?
andyass:
I'll live in my 6ft dream world, you live in yours.
ps. I could havbe told you like a year ago that you wern't cool anymore.
ps. I could havbe told you like a year ago that you wern't cool anymore.