unholyroach

yay on the cardio improvment!! while i still firmly believe running kills the soul it does wonderful things for your legs

Good job sticking to the work out. I've been really bad with my routine lately.

The most important thing to me right now is family. I don't see that changing in the future, either. Having said that, it also merits mention that I'm a slave to money. I own my own business, which I run from home. There's no steady income, or guarantee of work coming in on any given day. However I love what I do, the freedom that allows me, like the extra time I get to spend with my family. Sadly, that makes money the root cause of almost all my stress.

The only thing I strive for in life is to be a good father, provide a good foundation for my kids, lead by example, and hopefully be in a position to help them out should they need it when they're older. Everything else seems incidental.

Why is it important? My dad was the model that all other asshats were built from. He was an A-grade jerk. I never knew my grandfather, but according to my grandmother he was the role model that my dad did all his learning from. I don't want that tradition to continue. I want my kids growing up in a loving environment filled with tolerance, structure, communication, and love. I want them to feel okay with their emotions, strong in their beliefs, and to feel motivated about life. I want to give them everything I missed out on - a proper childhood, opportunity, a family unit.

I've already achieved much of what I want from life. I think it would be nice to have financial independence, and have time to be more involved in community orientated activities. I have a pipe dream of taking a couple of years off and just travelling about in a modest RV. Exploring the country with no particular schedule or agenda. My favourite book ever is The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac. I'm not a particularly spiritual person, but I feel a strong connection to much of his writings and I find myself drawn to follow his footsteps through some particular parts of California. It was a spiritual journey for him. I'm not sure what my reason is yet. I just know it's somethign I need to do.

The thing that drives me the most: Fear of failure. Not fear of what other people think, but fear that I made bad choices that negatively impact the lives of my family. I won't always get it right, and I can take most of those events as being a learning experience for myself, and an example of what not to do for my boys. But it's always in the back of my head that I'm responsible for these lives, and I have a duty to provide for them the best I can. You know, I think it's not a fear of failure, as much as it's a fear of letting my family down. There's a difference, I guess.

Do I have my future mapped out? No. I'd like to think that our business can grow into something that the boys will want to take over and continue when they're old enough. There's no certainty in that though, and that's many years away. For now, I take each day as a new one and steer my course as I see fit in the now.

So in summary:
What is important to me? Being there for the people who need me.
What makes me tick? Knowing I have room for self-improvement - wanting to be better than who I was yesterday.

Now, how about you? What's changed since high school? What brought on those changes, if any?

thank you so much to those of you who have written thus far but im kind of disappointed that more of you havent said anything...

as for me, ill be updating my thoughts in the next few weeks i hope, still doing a lot of mental searching and what not.

More people write!!!

need tires.... the ones on now are the original and are dry rot from the heat

Good, keep it going.

not when youre 5 ft tall

I'm hoping my my Halloween is gonna be good ...

Wear gloves.

i cut my arms mostly... my hands are fine

Good that your goals are coming together.

Sometimes... The girl I met last weekend, wasn't very honest with me about her X, as in she blatantly lied.

You guys are awesome and I appreciate the positive thoughts! Ive been doing so much better in so many ways being completely on my own, and by on my own i dont mean just having a romantic relationship, i mean no family or friends really either. Not that Im a hermit, I just had to learn the hard that way that in the end the only one who is really there for you is... well... you.

Amazing blog. It is cool to see things in a different light after a relationship and see how you've grown. The only person you really have in life, ultimately is you so you have to make sure you know who you are and what you want out of life. One day at a time works for me.

Baby steps / goals are good starting points.

so you're saying hangover wasn't on the to do list?

not so much Mike...

Hahaha

this was a WORK function hahahaha good observation though angelo... love gettin paid to have a good time... get my once a month drinking out of the way

I know why you're not leaving your bed. But eventually this Northwestern dwelling mister is going to invade your dreams and say "You really need to clean this place. And until you do, I'm keeping my pants on" (ha ha).

Get some cleaning done, THEN work on the dreams...