uncommoncold

I feel really emo and silly saying this, but I think I'm beyond crying right now.

I just want to be held and kissed and told that maybe everything will be okay. Or that even if it won't be okay, I will be okay.

But instead, I get to spend all day tomorrow in the library, researching and frantically paper-writing. Hur-fucking-rah.

I save almost all of my stories for el-jay.

This weekend involves end-of-semester homework, tea with my mother, seeing Alexander, and generally chillaxin' with friends. And I'll likely be getting my mattress back at some point from ze ex-loverboy, so that should be a wonderfully fun time for all involved. That can wait until tomorrow, though, so there's no need thinking about it now....
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NEVER EVER UPDATE YOUR JOURNAL WHEN YOU ARE SO DRUNK YOU CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT. OR PRESS BUTTONS STRAIGHT.

DAMN YOU, SYMBOLIC WORLD.

oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling clementine

i can be cynical without being a cynic.

i can eat oranges without being an orange.

dream a dream a dream a dream. sometimes i feel a little like ophelia, but maybe that's just 'cause i want to be all shakespearean-esque. silly nerdling.

latin is just not happening tonight. test tomorrow. i'm going to fail...
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so, i've been reading old writing again. probably a stupid idea, but, well, it sort of came my way. i forget how emo-tastic i can be sometimes.

.

and once, there was a you and an i and we fit together perfectly, melded and moved like silver spoons under pressure and there was a whole world in front of us, we talked a lot of...
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the wireless card has been purchased and is now being employed, and i'm definitely still jobless. i just call 'em as i see 'em. so, i'm in the library on campus! this is brilliant! i am the happiest peach around.

i bought the card from the most awkward guy i can remember seeing in a long time. he spoke very slowly and kept repeating himself....
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school is a joke to me right now. everyone else seems to have so much work to do- most of their reading breaks were actually spent reading, believe it or not. or writing. mostly writing.

mine most certainly wasn't, but i'm going to remedy that by reading das parfum this afternoon. except not in german, 'cause i don't know how to read german.

i...
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i have returned to the land of the calm, pleased, and generally happy-go-lucky.

an entirely unproductive day can be beautiful, and quite honestly, it was. i was able to talk with friends and make plans to go to the casino, get food that i will actually eat (avocadoes on sale! my life is complete; a joyous occasion, indeed), wash the scent of smoke and liquor...
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i'm pretty sure that i'm going to vomit.

...

how ambiguous is that?

at least i'm at home and i can sleep. tomorrow will be entirely new. yesterday was brilliant and so was the day before and the day before and even the day before that, but today? not so much.

i just want to be chipper all the time!

i want to fly and fly and fly and always let go.

there are too many dreams i can't control.

camping tomorrow, on quadra island. i haven't been since the summer. it might be amazing, but it also might be devastatingly awful, given the potential for drama within the company i keep. either way, i will have my latin textbook and thucydides history of the...
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i don't know if it's possible to carry on two online journals at once!

livejournal is just so distracting sometimes.

y'know?