uncognitive

You know, you'd think with all the child molestation charges being filed against Michael Jackson that pop radio stations might consider not playing the Michael Jackson song with the chorus "I want to love you, pretty young thing".

Apparently, such is not the case.

Pointless news update which only proves that I am both equal parts dork and pervert:

Good news #1:

The company I work for, which currently distributes DVD's, is considering distributing video games as well. Which means, hopefully, I can buy said video games at wholesale prices and finally find a use for 20+ years of videogame dorkdom. I figure by 2005 I can earn back...
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I think I've finally figured out the source of the problems I've been having with my new computer.

Apparently, I accidentally bought one of those illegally imported prescription Canadian Internets that President Bush so eloquently warned America about during yesterday's debate.

If only I'd made a better choice of Internets, maybe the spellcheck on my new PC wouldn't change "about" to "aboot".

Hooray for Hollywood:

"Rated R for graphic crude and sexual humor, violent images and strong language - all involving puppets"

Lately I've found myself talking to my cat in an annoying-if-you're-not-smitten-with-my-cat "baby talk" voice.

To make up for this, I'm going to meow and hiss at any babies I come across in public.

Went into Manhattan the other day (or "into the city" as us outer borough folks refer to it), and god damn, there were so many ridiculously attractive people walking around, taking advantage of the last lingering warm weather before fall sets in by not wearing all that much clothing, that I felt that I must have missed the "You must be this hot in order...
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I'm going to write an advice book called "Things That Are Always A Bad Idea...Unless You're Bowie".

Included on that list:

1) Writing songs about space travel is always a bad idea...unless you're Bowie.

2) Dressing up like a Nazi when you step out in public is always a bad idea...unless you're Bowie.

3) Selling stock in yourself is always a bad idea...unless you're Bowie....
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"More weekends should involve frogs, Michael Mann, and sex toys."

"Not at the same time, though."

"Yeah, that could get weird."

As of 11:30 AM today, I now own both the 4-disc deluxe DVD version of Dawn Of The Dead and the brand new 4-DVD box set of the original Star Wars movies.

I shall spend the next few days of this holiday weekend sloshing around in a brine of my own geeked out dorktacular didn't get laid in high school sci-fi/horror nerd drool as I...
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Reasons to move #37:

It's a never ending source of amusement to watch a cranky, insane old cat explore a new apartment.

Especially if every time you move anything in that apartment even slightly, it's a signal to your cat that he must explore some more to re-establish his complete and utter dominance over his new territory.

Because of course, I unpacked my clothes simply...
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Update frenzy!

None of you may be wondering what I've been up to.

Here's a brief recap:

Moved into a much nicer apartment, after the city government found out that my previous apartment was, shall we say, "illegal", and informed my landlord that said premises had to be vacated toot fucking sweet.

New apartment is so much nicer that it's inspired the wife and I...
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Oh yeah, I should update this again.

Ah, filler.