A long time ago I was given a set of runes and a book about them. There's no actual casting involved, at least not the way I do it; I just pull them out of the bag at random. It's not like the tarot, telling the future... it's like looking into a mirror. You ask a question, and your reflection answers back.
I hadn't touched the bag in years, but I couldn't sleep last night so I decided to have a go. Once I got most of the dust off the bag, I emptied it and picked up all the runes in my cupped hands. Maybe I was retuning after going so long without playing, maybe I just like the sound and feel of these little stone tablets. Then back in the bag they went.
I focused as well as I could for someone who couldn't sleep, and drew five runes.
Current situation: Isa. Standstill, withdrawal, ice... the winter of one's spiritual life. That has certainly been me since I got over my mother's death. I've been pretty solitary since then, even people who live in the same town don't expect to see more more than two or three times a year. Out of touch with life, that's what I am.
Challenge: Teiwaz, reversed. The rune of the warrior, standing on its head. I guess the horns in those viking helmets were good for something after all. Testing the self, patience. Reversed is a warning against hasty action, matters of trust and confidence, examining motives... am I lusting after outcomes or focused on the task for its own sake? Hm, what if it's both?
Course of action: Sowelu. Wholeness, life force, sun energy. Self-realisation, or at least finding my center, my balance. I guess it's true that I've only done that in regards to sanity, but it WAS rather important at the time. Let the light into a secret part of my life, hmm... I am possibly potentially evil! Or at least perverted. The lesbian incest fetish speaks for itself, though to be honest I've hardly kept THAT a secret.
Sacrifice: Laguz, reversed. Water, the ebb and flow of emotions and relationships. Reversed, it's a warning against reaching beyond your means, a failure to draw upon the wisdom of instinct. My intuition is off-balance. The first thing that comes to mind is, "Become a Vulcan," but that's probably not it. My strongest relationship right now is with my computer, or the internet. I know I should spend less time in front of the computer. Couldn't I just quit the porn?
New situation: Nauthiz, reversed. Constraint, necessity, pain... definite consequences for quitting porn. I'd have to start going out and getting laid, risk falling in love and so on. Judging by my track record so far, there will definitely be pain, but orgasms are indeed a necessity. Perhaps I should show constraint in regard to who I share them with. Ugh, I'd have to start socialising again. Jerking off to porn is safer!
Which is probably the point. I haven't had much of a life in the past decade or so. I used to blame it on losing the one person I could remotely trust, but after this long... I've been avoiding high places so I don't get that urge to jump. I never got my driving license back because I didn't want to repeat the realisation that one small twist of the wheel into incoming traffic is all it would take. I've been socialising on the internet because it's easier and safer then going out there and dealing with people face to face. That's what I've been doing with every aspect of my life. I know my mind has suffered as a consequence, I guess my spirit has too.
I guess I knew this stuff already. I just needed to do something that would rub it in my face. But will smelling it change anything?
I hadn't touched the bag in years, but I couldn't sleep last night so I decided to have a go. Once I got most of the dust off the bag, I emptied it and picked up all the runes in my cupped hands. Maybe I was retuning after going so long without playing, maybe I just like the sound and feel of these little stone tablets. Then back in the bag they went.
I focused as well as I could for someone who couldn't sleep, and drew five runes.
Current situation: Isa. Standstill, withdrawal, ice... the winter of one's spiritual life. That has certainly been me since I got over my mother's death. I've been pretty solitary since then, even people who live in the same town don't expect to see more more than two or three times a year. Out of touch with life, that's what I am.
Challenge: Teiwaz, reversed. The rune of the warrior, standing on its head. I guess the horns in those viking helmets were good for something after all. Testing the self, patience. Reversed is a warning against hasty action, matters of trust and confidence, examining motives... am I lusting after outcomes or focused on the task for its own sake? Hm, what if it's both?
Course of action: Sowelu. Wholeness, life force, sun energy. Self-realisation, or at least finding my center, my balance. I guess it's true that I've only done that in regards to sanity, but it WAS rather important at the time. Let the light into a secret part of my life, hmm... I am possibly potentially evil! Or at least perverted. The lesbian incest fetish speaks for itself, though to be honest I've hardly kept THAT a secret.
Sacrifice: Laguz, reversed. Water, the ebb and flow of emotions and relationships. Reversed, it's a warning against reaching beyond your means, a failure to draw upon the wisdom of instinct. My intuition is off-balance. The first thing that comes to mind is, "Become a Vulcan," but that's probably not it. My strongest relationship right now is with my computer, or the internet. I know I should spend less time in front of the computer. Couldn't I just quit the porn?
New situation: Nauthiz, reversed. Constraint, necessity, pain... definite consequences for quitting porn. I'd have to start going out and getting laid, risk falling in love and so on. Judging by my track record so far, there will definitely be pain, but orgasms are indeed a necessity. Perhaps I should show constraint in regard to who I share them with. Ugh, I'd have to start socialising again. Jerking off to porn is safer!
Which is probably the point. I haven't had much of a life in the past decade or so. I used to blame it on losing the one person I could remotely trust, but after this long... I've been avoiding high places so I don't get that urge to jump. I never got my driving license back because I didn't want to repeat the realisation that one small twist of the wheel into incoming traffic is all it would take. I've been socialising on the internet because it's easier and safer then going out there and dealing with people face to face. That's what I've been doing with every aspect of my life. I know my mind has suffered as a consequence, I guess my spirit has too.
I guess I knew this stuff already. I just needed to do something that would rub it in my face. But will smelling it change anything?