Okay . I'm less bitter today now that V-Day is gone for another year , so I decided to change my "angry" journal . I still wish that I had a "Tommy Gun " though .
It's not necessarily for gunning down annoying PEOPLE ( Although there ARE plenty of them out there that need it ) , but for "Squirly Huntin' " . Why...
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It's not necessarily for gunning down annoying PEOPLE ( Although there ARE plenty of them out there that need it ) , but for "Squirly Huntin' " . Why...
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FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!
This message brought to you by the "Bitter Single People Of America" .
You know how they say that people become more suicidal around Christmas ? I'm betting people become more HOMICIDAL during Valentine's Day . All of the lovey dovey , sappy-ass , romantic bullshit makes me want to kill EVERYBODY around me . Even when I had a girlfriend for...
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This message brought to you by the "Bitter Single People Of America" .
You know how they say that people become more suicidal around Christmas ? I'm betting people become more HOMICIDAL during Valentine's Day . All of the lovey dovey , sappy-ass , romantic bullshit makes me want to kill EVERYBODY around me . Even when I had a girlfriend for...
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clara:
I'm glad you're enjoying the day so much. Did you notice it's almost wedding season?
I just read the Newsweek article about the new Mel Gibson movie " The Passion Of Christ "( I personally find it far more entertaining to refer to this movie as "The Gospel According To Martin Riggs" , the badass gun blasting kung fu-ing supercop from the Lethal Weapon movies ) about the final days of Jesus . The article is about " Who Really...
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linz:
did you watch the simpsons the other day when homer told lisa to grow a penis and she just sat there grunting and like..trying to grow a penis! it was hilarious!
hastwothumbs:
Hey, I know Vic Farelli. Ol' "Vegas Vic," we call him. I met him while playing roulette with some hookers that gave me drugs they got from mobsters. Nice guy, real class act.
But the odds it was Professor Plum got bumped up to 7,658-1 yesterday. Turns out he tested positive for steroids.
But the odds it was Professor Plum got bumped up to 7,658-1 yesterday. Turns out he tested positive for steroids.
You know how I was saying the other day that I mashed my car up whilst careening down an icy hill ? Well , I'm gonna' need to get it fixed . Here's the good part though . It's a Ford Escort . What's good about that , you ask ? Wellllll...now I get to go to one of those Escort services that I've heard...
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hastwothumbs:
If you were a realtor and used the "crack HOME" line, I'd buy one.
clara:
Do you suppose crack would help with my sinuses, etc?
I'm STILL alive!!!!!
The one good thing about having the worst day that you can remember is that no matter what happens the next few days you can always say " Well , at least it wasn't as bad as THAT day " . So things have kinda' evened out after HELL DAY .
Now for something COMPLETELY different...
Yesterday I mailed out a comic...
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The one good thing about having the worst day that you can remember is that no matter what happens the next few days you can always say " Well , at least it wasn't as bad as THAT day " . So things have kinda' evened out after HELL DAY .
Now for something COMPLETELY different...
Yesterday I mailed out a comic...
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nicolelee:
no, dude. no SIGNS of yuengling here at all... i miss it already. care package? of course... can you mail beer??
n*
n*
clara:
I'm sticking with Nyquil and water. Maybe a few vitamins. Minimal smoking, which is easy when your throat hurts.
I have had the WORST fucking day that I can remember having in the past four years!!!!
START- I had to go to work . Not a great way to start .
MIDDLE - While leaving on my lunch break from work , I got pulled over by the cops for doing NOTHING . I had a green light , I turned left , the...
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START- I had to go to work . Not a great way to start .
MIDDLE - While leaving on my lunch break from work , I got pulled over by the cops for doing NOTHING . I had a green light , I turned left , the...
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tiamat:
to the stupid day
pssst. if you did propose to me with a grape ring i would have to say yes...i mean nothing tops grape.
pssst. if you did propose to me with a grape ring i would have to say yes...i mean nothing tops grape.
clara:
Oh, you poor dear. Please stay home when it's icy from now on. 
GAHHHH!!!!! Damn those Patriots and their playing good and shit !!!!!
SURVIVOR ALL STARS?????
Again , I re-iterate...HOW can you have a show called Survivor if nobody is in REAL peril ? Why not drop these dipshits into some un-explored section of the Congo where they might get eaten by some giant prehistoric reptile ? Or Survivor : Antarctica . EVERY cast-away dies of hypothermia...
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SURVIVOR ALL STARS?????
Again , I re-iterate...HOW can you have a show called Survivor if nobody is in REAL peril ? Why not drop these dipshits into some un-explored section of the Congo where they might get eaten by some giant prehistoric reptile ? Or Survivor : Antarctica . EVERY cast-away dies of hypothermia...
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consuela:
will you move to phoenix please?
yebutz:
please explain to consuela how it is simply impossible for you to leave here and take all our entertainment with you. be nice, you don't want to hurt her feelings...
no bubba ho-tep for me...wanna maybe go on sunday?
-me
no bubba ho-tep for me...wanna maybe go on sunday?
-me
TINFOILHALO'S WAR JOURNAL :
Mother Nature has struck the first blow today . As I was on my way out of my apartment this afternoon I hit an icy spot on my stairs and "WHOOPS" I had a nearly devastating tumble . Luckily my cat-like reflexes kicked in and I grabbed the handrail before I plummeted to my death . At last check I sustained...
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Mother Nature has struck the first blow today . As I was on my way out of my apartment this afternoon I hit an icy spot on my stairs and "WHOOPS" I had a nearly devastating tumble . Luckily my cat-like reflexes kicked in and I grabbed the handrail before I plummeted to my death . At last check I sustained...
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ghoulish:
I want to see Ninja Cheerleaders.
ghoulish:
Hahaha. Dude, where the HELL do you live?
As I peer out of my window I can see that Mother Nature has apparently disregarded our angry words . Snow's still a'falling . Well...this will NOT do!!!!
So you think we're kidding , eh nature ? Let's see how funny you think it is when we declare WAR ON NATURE!!!! We've merely been testing your defenses all of these years by polluting the atmosphere...
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So you think we're kidding , eh nature ? Let's see how funny you think it is when we declare WAR ON NATURE!!!! We've merely been testing your defenses all of these years by polluting the atmosphere...
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tiamat:
lets picket. or.. we could not juggle the flaming bunnies and use them as ammo against nature herself.
linz:
fuck cold weather. i'm so moving to australia. i'm serious about the MAD thing...don't defy me..i have a tendency to get serious when i'm serious.
I am hereby formally starting a petition to end winter . No more cold weather , no more snow , no more ice . If you also want to see the end of this miserable season , please sign below .
Take heed Mother Nature , Old Man Winter , and all parties responsible . We're mad as hell , and we're NOT gonna' take...
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Take heed Mother Nature , Old Man Winter , and all parties responsible . We're mad as hell , and we're NOT gonna' take...
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hastwothumbs:
After reading this, I pictured you waving a fishing net while chasing Jack Frost (from those stop-motion puppet Christmas movies) and yelling, "Gonna getcha! Gonna getcha!"
sempi:
Cool profile pic, dude.
You know what cracks me up ? Those commercials for "natural male enhancement . " Especially the T.V. adds that have "Bob" who's constantly grinning because he's got an enhanced schlong . Funny stuff . Well I want a piece of that market . I have the idea , but no finances to make it happen . So everybody take a little time to read...
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consuela:
GENIUS!
crftony:
RE: acting, I'll need some people for my next flick. If you're interested, just drop me a note on my journal page or contact me through there. Tony
I just found out some freaky news...
Apparently Fred Rogers of the children's show "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood" used to be a Navy SEAL , and had 25 confirmed kills to his name . He used to wear those sweaters to cover up his tattoos . I guess when he got out of the military he decided to dedicate his life to helping people and went...
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Apparently Fred Rogers of the children's show "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood" used to be a Navy SEAL , and had 25 confirmed kills to his name . He used to wear those sweaters to cover up his tattoos . I guess when he got out of the military he decided to dedicate his life to helping people and went...
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hastwothumbs:
I have a cowboy hat and Hawaiian shirts. One of which is the New York City skyline. They should go well together, I think.
I'll never look at Mr. Rogers the same way again.
I'll never look at Mr. Rogers the same way again.
ghoulish:
Dude. You live in Coraopolis. I used to live in Moon, right up by the Uni Mart by Moon Crest. I live in Hopewell now. We need to chill sometime.
- Ghoulish
- Ghoulish
But a job that pays me to fly in a funny outfit? HEAVEN.