Sunday Jul 03, 2005

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Alright.... so I've fasted for 24 hours. I didn't really eat anything all day and except for a few bouts of weird tiredness, it felt great.

Now I am snacking on Parlour frozen yogurt. GO FROGURT!

I've resisted the desire of hunger for one day. That is so... liberating. I like it.

Thursday Jun 30, 2005

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Is it right to wake up more tired than you went to sleep? Blah. frown

Even in my drained state, I must stay determined. I am determined to improve. Maybe I'm tired of digesting. I think I will incorporate the ritual of fasting into my personal regimen. Whether it belongs in my philosophy or not, that's yet to be known.

I wish there was something else...
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nataleigh:
i always wake up more tired than when i went to sleep. it's cuz my body hates me. maybe you and i shoudl join forces and fight back against our bodies. really...i just want to be a superhero lol.

and fasting eh? let me know how that works out for you. quite the interesting philosophy. lol.

Wednesday Jun 29, 2005

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ELIAS RETURNS...

Tonight, on the late-night bus home... something interesting happened. Interesting to me, at least.
A rather attractive woman had pulled the request stop cord a little late for the Lansdowne stop. And to her visible, but unvocalized dismay, the driver didn't stop the bus for three or four more blocks, (at Symington.)
At the time I wasn't reacting veryt fast, but knowing that...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
nataleigh:
awwwww. that's a really sweet and sad story all at once. see you still care for ppl. lol. and now i have proof. tongue
nataleigh:
OMG no i haven't. and now i must. are you serious? they mention missign the memo? that makes my life complete.

thanks for that. it brought a smile to my face adn it jsut goes to show that it's all about the memos.

(that sort of rhymed lol)

Wednesday Jun 22, 2005

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An ex coworker was supposed to drop off a CD for me today, but instead dropped off a note saying he'll get it for me tomorrow. It's "The Roots of Acid Jazz" and I think my stepdad will like it for a belated Father's Day gift.

Spent over fifty dollars on dinner with an ex last night. She's probably the only ex I have who...
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nataleigh:
<i>Then we had tea and talked about the subtleties of a post-post-modern, existential-perfectionist culture.</i>

we should really do this some day just so it won't be a lie. lol.
nataleigh:
and clearly html does not work here and i have to use that little "italic text" option at the side.

computer:1
me:0

*robot tear*

Saturday Jun 18, 2005

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Well, I got up early yesterday to do a little workout and jog.

I tried to do the same this morning, but I woke up quite sore and just went back to sleep. (Bad, Sandor. Baaaad.) I also did not take my vitamins today. And smoked, again. Grr.

I hope tomorrow I can wake up early and get at least a jog in before...
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andreastesfaye:
i know that you know that i understand that i understand you....!!!!!


but i love HUGE breasts, and i can't help it..........gggawwdddd....sweet


andreas


Monday Jun 13, 2005

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Bad:
-Woke up with back pain. That's new for me. Really sucked. frown

-Woke up two hours late for a date that I then learned had cancelled on me anyway, so nothing lost, I guess. frown


Good:
-The new wireless router I bought so that my roommates can share the internet connection is working perfectly. Encryption set up and all! smile

-Game was cancelled tonight, so I have...
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gerta:
what movie?

that back thing sucks. on the sane note, i almost passed out yesterday swimming in the mountains. scary.

and my new firewall is working too, yea. wink
gerta:
i guess it was one of those slow moving rivers. if i didn't live in la, it would be a creek or maybe a streem. it's where the melted snow goes, and there a few places where water gathers deep enough to swim. this one happened to be at the end of a granite water slide, very cool.

Sunday Jun 12, 2005

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K, I have a new theory about my coworkers. (At least one about the front-of-house staff.) I think everyone is having sex with everyone. Yes, this is kind of paranoid and delusional, but if you were in my position, and as delirious as me, you'd realize where I'm coming from.


......



Those fucking whores.


P.S. The wound I received from my fall last monday has...
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barny:
where do you work?
and why the heck are they all whoreS? im confused confused

and ouchy. i keep gettin so cut and scraped... cant help it.. i bang things alot frown


kiss so sane your dilious , so diliorous your sane?

Thursday Jun 09, 2005

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Hey. Um. Hello journal.

I was drunk and running on Monday night, and I fell and had to take a whole day just to sit around the house being sore. I should have gone out and seen the third Star Wars movie. Oh well.

On retrospect, I was very insane at work today. I heard some gossip that one of the waitresses broke up with...
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Wednesday Jun 01, 2005

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Astonishing theory: I think it is the same lack of impulse that is making me totally ineffective at everything in life. It's a lack of impulse that makes me sleep-in. It's a lack of impulse that makes it hard to keep a regular journal or do any kind of homework at home. It's a lack of impulse that makes me unable to talk to strangers...
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Sunday May 22, 2005

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Ehhhhh. It's been a billion years. Update time.

I'm still working every night. (Check!)

I still have no social life. (Check!)

*sigh* (Check!)

Wow. Guess I didn't really need to update after all. blackeyed



P.S. I can't fit my entire cellphone in my mouth. Does that mean I can't be a gay porn star, or that I just have too old a cell phone?

P.P.S. Hmph....
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
the_happy_pig:
Hey man, good name wink
the_happy_pig:
Nemesis, oh yes, I'll have to get me a big furry white cat and say things like 'Ah, theangrysloth, we meet again, but this time you'll find that it is I who has the advantage' biggrin

Don't worry about being depressing when drunk, because I reckon that when shit faced, I could probably out depress anyone on the planet wink

Tuesday May 10, 2005

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Okies.

Mmmmm. Met with an education specialist, who's a friend of my dad's. Together, we're going to make a plan to get me into university by next year. Maybe that's a good thing. I don't know.

I tried going to a social anxiety support group today. It was at the Centre for Mental Health. Someone emailed me with an invite, and then I pulled a...
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dirrrty:
Good luck with your education, hun. I hate to sound like a geek, but fuck it, having a solid education is the only thing that seperate us 'evolved' primates from the rest of the monkeys...

OOh.. and just so you know, I read the comment you left me in Gazongas. That is my site, I (C) all my picks because I've had them stolen soo many times in the past. I try not to get upset about people not believing the girl in the pics are me but hey, whatever, what do I have to prove... just wanted to let you know wink

Tuesday May 10, 2005

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Anyways.... as I was saying before...

Should I say more or less about myself in my profile? I get the feeling I'm either being too chatty or too vague. Something just seems off.

In the words of the wise Bloodhound Gang: "I'd appreciate your input."
barny:
yo hey there!

say whatever you want in your journal! and profile tooo....

being too chatty sucks when you dont have too many comments but being too vague dont interest peopel!

hey.. how come youve been here sooo long but arent so social?

be my friend? smile
barny:
btw your comment in the sg scarfication group about self harm really meant sumthignt o me, was great how well you summed it up!
have you got any scarification work done? other than scars from self harm?

All I can say about why I cut is... when enough shit happens to me to make me feel that low, my (chemically imbalanced?) mind figures that there MUST BE something to show for how bad I feel.

That there MUST BE some kind of physical reprecussion for how terrible life felt at that moment. Or else... what is there to show for it? What does it matter? What does how I feel matter if there isn't any SERIOUS sign?"

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