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Sometimes too much. Sometimes too too much of many many things. Filmed an interview Tuesday nicely lit and ill-rehearsed. A short and sloppy yesterday for some nursing students. Stupid and comedic. Cheap cheap cheap. Like Spike Jonze minus the culture, talent and vision. Some low-end practice hanging around cute girls isn't unappreciated though.

Celebrated with so much alcohol and varieties of chemical long tracts of...
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doozer:
Unlike some, I've found that filling in the pieces of forgotten hours, minutes, seconds frustrating.

I've yet to understand a statement someone mentioned, "I like trying to find my things and figure out what happened after a party." Still boggles my mind confused
tedbedlam:
It is kind of like a really shitty, puke-y, hung-over version of CSI and CSI is already a poor man's Law and Order on a good day. Ice-T, hell yeah.
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Watching Watching Watching. If I was puritanical enough I would be a voyeur. But really I'm just jealous, I get off on being good enough to participate in my fantasies; not just witness them. I suppose that's why I like this site. There's not fantasy of penetration or false integration of a body that isn't mine but only the beauty of the model themself and...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
hopelessaddict:
can I just tell you how much I love the way you (talk?) type
tedbedlam:
Thank you, thank you and thank you again. If I had the guts I would have been an etymologist and I would have learned Latin. Did you know that the word hobo dates back to the civil war when southern boys sent off at the ages of twelve and thirteen returned home to find their farms and local infrastructure completely decimated. Instead of rebuilding their roads in a grid system so that I could find my way around this fucking goddamned state, they let Sherman have his way remodeling their transit system and went to their cellars underground to gather any tools that had survived the attacks. Farm equipment such as shovels, scythes and hoes as well as food and supplies were most common. Supplies knotted to the end of the poles of their hoes, they traveled the nearby country in search of work. Commonly referred to as "Hoe Boys" the name was later shortened to Hobo and was reapplied to encompass nearly any traveler without fixed destination or income.

I have taught you something neat. Relate it to your vague memories of me and make me neat. I am the neatest person you don't know. Although I am very bad at tidying up. This is inconsequential. Love me.
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hopelessaddict:
can I just tell you how much I loooveee the giraff one and the butterfly one!
tedbedlam:
Yes you may and thank you very much.
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It's gotten so bad I am now watching Joe's Apartment.

Gremlin's 2 this is not... maybe if I stop drinking and smoking I gain the insight and talent the wonderful screenwriters and directors of hollywood have all hogged up for themselves in the pages of Transformers II and True Blood.
doozer:
What's the doc. that you're making about?
tedbedlam:
It's going to be composited from a series of shorts I'm doing for an organization called AFNAP (A Future Not A Past) who campaign against child prostitution in GA. From interviews I'll to create a few 3-5 min. pieces for them and will expand upon it to make a 30-45 min. short feature. It's going to take quite a long time, though, but the bulk of the preliminary interviews should be done within the next one or two months. I plan to schedule more once my name and face are successfully spread around to the point where people are open to talking with me more freely as the subject is a touchy one.
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To sleep. To sleep. To sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep please go to sleep. My eyes have been weighted down by some immortal xantex I swallowed nights ago with no benefits as yet. Second shoot of the documentary for AFNAP, first interview. Went very well, the LEDs lit up the room nicely and the talent was really on the ball. I had Mark...
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For almost 24 hours now, a pain in my side. Like a swallowed needle or chewed glass, this pain in my side. When I breathe in I can feel it grind like a rock on the inside of my ribs.

I am feeling better from yesterday though. I do not think it is cancer.

Went for a hike today with Curt, discussed his plans on...
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Bus boy
Librarian
Blockbuster CSR
Dishwasher
Oyster shucker
Night baker
Librarian
Assistant producer
Movie theater guy

I have now amassed a mountain of man-hours measuring an absolute nothing. Exactly nothing. Never enough to save or spend, and no job skills to add to my assets. I've learned more from the every night hustle with its twists, turns and tricks than the legitimate grind and its...
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rolling bones move to
mark the evidence
carved into cartilege
the years and recompense

lo, I stand in
stunned soliloquy
sun rolling under me
a mark of history

where is my soul?
where have you gone?
my lonely soul
where have you gone?
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Blood covers lover's hands
Incantating substantiations
Ghost of older souls of
We wish we used to be

Cold the load we carry
Bird shat gravity to be buried
and cover the graves like leaves
of who I tried to be

Work our ways from backwards
Paths built hazards but I can't
Unlearn the love you teach me
Broken stuck on bended knee

Please forgive me...
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