tedbedlam

Money money money money money money money. Stop. Money money money money. Stop. About $20-25,000 needs to be put together by me in the next year and a half to comfortably purchase my last major school items and make it off to University: The Sequel. $60,000 was the original goal but I've since then spent the other $40 on various video filming and editing necessities....
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Last night won at Poker. Third time I've ever played for money, first time more than nickle bets. Took the Bukowski route and bet on people over cards. Basically acted like a goofy jackass who only halfway knew the game (Texas hold 'em? Where you only have two cards and the rest are in the center?) which is just me being me and got $30...
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Though I have rolled my ankle and will have to drag myself across the ground to grab a beer, bud, blunt wrap and a shot of bourbon and though my friend has had to hide from aiding and abetting his mom-murdering friend and though my plans may be pushed back a year or so, a pretty girl smiled and said hello to me at the...
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More of the same. Same only more. Gotten a decent job videographing a series of window filming tutorials/training videos. Completed the Michelle interview. Happy with that. Won trivia last night. That was neat. Though I know there is no God my mind is still stuck believing in a Love that only hurts. Once I was happy, perhaps. Now I am just tired tired tired and...
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Getting more angry and depressed by the day. Really wish I had no contact with people through the internet, found out through facebook Caitlin is now in a relationship. Nothing else seems to be going all that well either. Probably just going to take a few weeks off from people all together, try to work on entrance essays and detach myself from everyone I can....
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Just finished my GRE and did pretty well. Going to try for about eight programs, I think, hopefully somebody will decide I am worth a scholarship. My focus will be in narrative and documentary filmmaking with a digital twist. Been researching schools through the book "Film School Confidential" which has been a great preliminary resource. Finished my GRE with a 1350 composite, have a decent...
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1350 composite. 600 something 750 the other thing. Not a pretty win, but I'll take it. Zack is in town, so that's pretty awesome. Made some of the best *special* rice krispy treats I've ever done 'et. Used a process of boiling the butter in a few inches of water in order to keep the plant matter from burning and the allow the water the...
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New years sucked but not as much as most. Lots and lots of free delicious microbrew. Studying plenty for GRE. Seem to be stuck at 1220. Not bad or good. Sufficient, though, especially for someone who hasn't taken a test in over a year or a math test in four in a half. Apparently it is illegal to give someone the prescription sunglasses they've paid...
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An updated list of every movie in my collection not including television shows.

My overwhelming hatred for the elderly and white-people-with-money along with their correlating tendencies has turned my christmas into a good day with a rash on my scrotum. I am also not very happy lately. I feel bored and alone and wish my pioneering in all aspects of life went more successfully or that maybe I would find better answers. A mixed blessing. It urns out...
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Super rough draft. The bulk of the skeleton is there though. Let me know your thoughts.

Things are as surreal as ever recently; phone calls in the AM for little more than a forgotten eight dollar bill I don't owe and not quite cute girls with greed in their eyes looking at my dick for something other than. I am doing right and feeling wrong, my head feels like it bursts. I will never get laid appreciating honesty and beauty, they...
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