starfior

Sometimes the beauty in the world staggers me. I just saw seven hawks damn near hovering for the speed they were moving in formation over the highway. There is no way to describe how truly amazing that scene was.

You know what else helps the caffeine headaches? Booze. HA!

Diary of a caffeine junky

Day 2:

Fuck it hurts. It's just a dull throb right now, but that's because I took meds already. My head has a demon loose in it. That's the only explanation. The screen hurts. The light hurts. Everything fuels the demon's vigor in his assault on my sanity.

My muscles feel worn out now. They're used to recieving signals a...
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I've gone off of caffeine.

I've done it before so I can do it again.

Day 1: One can of Cherry Coke and that's all. I can feel the headache starting already and it sucks. This is all for my own good though. I think.

Fire Coming out of a Monkey's Head.

That is all.

G'night everybody.

Today has been.... I'm really not sure. I've been sleeping through a lot of it. Usually I pass out like this when I'm feeling depressed but I'm not today so it's kind of odd. But yeah, I keep looking over to my bed and saying to myself "Yeah... that's a good idea..." and then I'll pass out for an amount of time from 20 minutes...
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I used to be a romantic. Then I became pragmatic. Then I became a realist. Then I became a pessimist.

This is the downward descent of man.

When we are born we are told to dream. What do you want to be when you grow up? Superhero. President. Wold Dictat. Whatever you could imagine.

When we hit a certain age, I'm not quite sure when....
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I've made a decision. I'm not going to tell people how I'm really doing anymore. I'm not going to let people inside of my broken ass head unless I'm paying them to share whatever pain it is I feel. (read: counselor or shrink)

Let's face it, no one really wants to hear if I'm having a shitty day. Everyone expects "Hey, Tim. How're you?" "I'm...
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I went out riding the GS450 today. My dad was a lot cooler about teaching me to ride motorcycle than he was about driving my car. My legs hurt like a mother though. I'll update more later. I'm gonna ice my crotch or something... fuck...

More later: Birthday parties for 21 year olds suck. When they have it someplace like Pedros it's cool, but when...
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How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;

I'm going to call today a 0

The fix of things unbroken am I, motherfucker!

Story: I got an HFC (Ho Feng Co) gas revolver from Taiwan. The fucking thing wouldn't work in single action only in double action. And let's fucking face it... if you can't pull back the hammer as you draw and give off some fucking cheeseball line what's the point in having a revolver right?

So I ripped...
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I went and talked to a counselor today.

It really didn't help much. It was just the same stuff I've been telling people since forever.

She wants me to record my mood until the next time I see her so I suppose I'll play along.

I need to call my doc and talk to him about getting put on antidepressants. Apparently he can do that...
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