smith

I woke up at 8:20 this morning after some horrific dreams that involved committing haphazard acts of violence to people, reliving contradictions, and being trod upon.

The most disturbing part was what I had turned into.

I can't even concentrate on this
It's over thought, anticipated
The pen ink is running dry
It's been thrown to paper and wasted
Creativity has been blocked and over tasted
Maybe in time
I'll appreciate it

Hold on
Hold on
We'll be with you soon

These papers are stuck in this book
'till they're torn out and pasted
To the inside of my memory
Where...
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Hearing The Cure tonight reminded me of plans that will now never come to fruition.

There's something to be said for photographs.

Just when I think that everything is alright within me, it all comes crashing down.

I miss her so much. This is unbearable.

I'm an idiot for thinking anything I said or felt would make a difference. I'm alone now. That's the way it's going to be, and while I've accepted that, I can't help but feel so utterly lost.

I fought. I tried. I...
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Fuck leaving.

You know why?

I'll tell you.

1.) Boobies.
2.) It's cheap.
3.) Boobies.
4.) teh flux and her swarthy self.
5.) Boobies.

I just threw away:

1 SoundBlaster LiveDrive!, 3 CD-ROM drives, 1 CD-RW drives, numerous beer bottles, receipts that can be used to pilfer my identity, roughly 23 empty Marlboro Red packs, my soul, and a stray sock that I simply could...
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I'm leaving soon.

Those of you who wish to contact me can ask me within the next few days.

Everyone else, fuck off. This wasn't for you.

DAMN. I'll never buy another CRT again. This is some p1mpin' image quality.

I just bought more computer junk; namely, a flat-panel LCD and a cheap CD drive since mine died last night.

Options for tonight:

1.) Noodle around at home with the computer and get drunk alone.
2.) Go drink cheap beer and people-watch and gawk at women without being obvious. This option has the drawback of potential run-ins with the wrong people.
3.) Mope.
4.) Find...
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Yes. Utterly useless.

Intrusion has never been such a temptation.

My, I feel violent right now.

These days are getting longer and longer.

I think it's time for alcohol-induced introspection tonight in a dimly-lit establishment.

What I believe to be a sincere gesture is most unfair given my current position, given that everyone involved knows the terms.