So I suppose it's as official as it ever will be. I moved into my flat today, no more freeloading, no more impositions -- all I neeed now is some sort of minor employent. My beer money will run out eventually, and when that happens I get grumpy.
I am begging to feel like a writer in earnest again, I am reading voraciously and producing...
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I am begging to feel like a writer in earnest again, I am reading voraciously and producing...
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I've been going over and over everything, rubbing my old scars with my longest finger, trying to remember half forgotten pain. But as it always is with these things I only feel the strangeness that comes with a deep scar, the severed nerve endings. I am suddenly angry again, not at the personage of her, but at the dawning realization that in some small way...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
ortus:
Aaaah, so you're writing the rest of the UK off without giving us a chance? 
Just a li'l joke.
There are interesting people wherever you go, I believe. We are bound by the Law of Attraction: like attracts like. Gravitation, friend. Like-minded souls gravitate toward each other.
Thanks for the link, I will have a read and let you know my thoughts.
Take it easy dude.
Just a li'l joke.
There are interesting people wherever you go, I believe. We are bound by the Law of Attraction: like attracts like. Gravitation, friend. Like-minded souls gravitate toward each other.
Thanks for the link, I will have a read and let you know my thoughts.
Take it easy dude.
dinah:
why is it that we writers usually suffer so much? What is it about the world that we truly see that scars, maddens, debilitates and uplifts?
Your cross-atlantic ball of love must've hit me this morning because I actually woke up smiling and started to write right away. And I feel calm, at ease.
Last night I did kitchen therapy and cooked a full meal for a good friend with desert (enchiladas and a lemon cream pie) I poured so much energy into that food. But unlike in 'like water for chocolate' the more hate I put into what I was doing, the better the food made me feel, cooking and eating it.
I ranted. I raved. And I think I am moving on, doing only what I can do, and that is loving myself and loving my sister.
Keep up your writing, sir. It is the best thing a writer can do for their soul.
Your cross-atlantic ball of love must've hit me this morning because I actually woke up smiling and started to write right away. And I feel calm, at ease.
Last night I did kitchen therapy and cooked a full meal for a good friend with desert (enchiladas and a lemon cream pie) I poured so much energy into that food. But unlike in 'like water for chocolate' the more hate I put into what I was doing, the better the food made me feel, cooking and eating it.
I ranted. I raved. And I think I am moving on, doing only what I can do, and that is loving myself and loving my sister.
Keep up your writing, sir. It is the best thing a writer can do for their soul.
Onward an upward. Nothing will happen if I sit around waiting for it to happen. Time to work my ass off, it occurs to me that my life has always been fairly charmed and still is. The onliy difference is that for the first time I really have to work, and work hard to make my life here what I want it to be.
I...
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I...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
cosmia:
Nothing happens if you sit around? Damn, there goes my plan 
brightredscream:
Best of luck to you ♥
I need to forget about words for awhile. What good have they ever done me? They just make me oovercomplicate things that are in reality are very simple. When I was young I used to build massive and elaborate fantasy worlds, I lived in them, hiding in my bedroom, it was safe there -- as an adult it has always been a point of pride...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
dinah:
do not accept defeat. I still live in my fantasy worlds and it helps me deal with everyday life. kisses and squishes to ya, doll. 
kellymonster:
Words, words, words, words, words.
A whole lotta words to denounce the over-use of words.
Words are futile in a war against words, actions alone will prove victorious. Put your words somewhere cosy (not the balaclava, it is my safe place); A cupboard, the kettle, even the much discussed bodily orifice (yes, that one), put on a hat, a smile and dance like a fool. It is the best drug.
For you, as things stand, I believe over thinking is the fuel of insanity. Simplicity is the friend of happiness. Join me in the animatronic dance of emotionlessness (is that a word?) and laugh like a retard.
Things are not as bad as they seem if you allow the simplicity of reality to shine.
Kindness kills.
Sympathy does not breed strength.
This is just the beginning.
A whole lotta words to denounce the over-use of words.
Words are futile in a war against words, actions alone will prove victorious. Put your words somewhere cosy (not the balaclava, it is my safe place); A cupboard, the kettle, even the much discussed bodily orifice (yes, that one), put on a hat, a smile and dance like a fool. It is the best drug.
For you, as things stand, I believe over thinking is the fuel of insanity. Simplicity is the friend of happiness. Join me in the animatronic dance of emotionlessness (is that a word?) and laugh like a retard.
Things are not as bad as they seem if you allow the simplicity of reality to shine.
Kindness kills.
Sympathy does not breed strength.
This is just the beginning.
God I'm a stupid ass! Good times though.
Who would have thought a heart to heart in the bathroom could be so amazing.
My head hurts.
Who would have thought a heart to heart in the bathroom could be so amazing.
My head hurts.
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dinah:
I have been all over. Mostly emotionally, and when that happens, this girl recedes to the shadows. apologies, dear friend. Heart to heart in a bathroom? sounds interesting. Are you having a ball? That water is the bluest blue...where was that pic taken?
kas:
wonderful, i checked her tour schedule..not this time 
hope you're having an amazing time!
hope you're having an amazing time! 
scheisskopf:
We'll talk about this, maybe, along with numerous other things, no doubt, in a couple of weeks.
I'm looking forward to it.
I'll try to send you the invitational flyer, so's you'll have the proper address. Let me know the details on your accomodations.
I'm looking forward to it.
I'll try to send you the invitational flyer, so's you'll have the proper address. Let me know the details on your accomodations.
"To me the venture meant nothing real: a little escapade. I can't believe in 'doing things' like that. In the great issue of the war there was nothing to be 'done,' in Murry's sense. Probably not for many, many years will men start to 'do' something. And even then, only after they have changed, gradually and deeply. I knew then, and I know now, it...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
_biblia_:
thank you. i'm generally extremely shy about sharing my writing, but i'm trying to be better about it.
kellymonster:
You think you can control me? I defy you!
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
mrschainsaw:
Beautiful scenery - I need to get my ass to France sooner than later! I think it will have to be at least a 2-week trip.
Enjoy it and post more pictures!
Enjoy it and post more pictures!
gipsy:
Oooh I was in Ardeche a few weeks ago... love it there. Love your pictures, I want to go back now.
I feel lonely today, I don't want a vacation with my family, I want to begin to make things happen here. I don't want to babysit my father on the Metro, I don't want to order food for him because he can't even say bon jour.
I still float in limbo, and will until they leave. I'm tempted to just take a bus back...
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I still float in limbo, and will until they leave. I'm tempted to just take a bus back...
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brightredscream:
You write beautifully....wow
dinah:
drunken comments accepted. Sometimes, a girl needs to hear those things. I'm glad you're changing your mind about Paris. I've never been there, but I hold a special place for France in my heart...someday, I will live there, in some forgotten village and I'll sell goat cheese and wine to the other villagers. We'll sit around and talk about how the winters are getting colder and the summers hotter. I'll remember when I was once american and shiver, take another sip of delicious red wine.
maybe I should just drop everything and fly out to Paris. Right now.
maybe I should just drop everything and fly out to Paris. Right now.
I had this massive postmodern rant of epic proportions in my head. . .
But I done got drunk n' forgot.
Paris is nice, I don't love it the way most do, and I am still ambivelent about the french. I can understand all the menus, and that's gotta be good for something, but on the other hand, who wants to pay three and a...
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But I done got drunk n' forgot.
Paris is nice, I don't love it the way most do, and I am still ambivelent about the french. I can understand all the menus, and that's gotta be good for something, but on the other hand, who wants to pay three and a...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
ortus:
Paris.
My friend recommends (in no particular order):
Paris Paris
La Fleche D'or
La Triptique
Have a top time, dude.
My friend recommends (in no particular order):
Paris Paris
La Fleche D'or
La Triptique
Have a top time, dude.
dinah:
mmm...french beer. wish I was there sharing a pint with you, mon frere.
from the ages of 12-18 i was obsessed with travelling back in time and being a hippie. ken kesey and abbie hoffman were my heroes. it is funny because todays hippies annoy me so it is likely yesterdays would have as well.
when i dreamed of living the life i imagined, i realize now it seems to have involved me becoming an entirely different person. i imagined living in an apartment in new york city and having a bunch of cool friends, and making music or something. i wished i could wake up and not be so shy and antisocial. lately i have come to accept that is who i am and i should try to be happy within my own means, instead of the unattainable hopes of waking up another person.
Have something lovely to help you sleep.