I'm here, I'm safe, I'm having a great time. The isolation of being alone in a strange city is a powerful tool for reflection. I feel somthing gestating inside of me, something that will spill out in the near future in the form of long rambling prose. I'm considering buying an old typewriter, I cannot finish anything with a pen, only anotate. I am pleasantly...
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threestares:
yes, and things are also simpler than i make them out to be. therefore no more shoulda, coulda, woulda....
catdad:
Welcome to Portland.
Monday morning I'm gone, I may not have internet access for a few weeks, so I could be incognito for a bit. There is so much about my last week in California that I want to say, but for the moment I am at a loss. Perhaps it needs to be reflected upon, to ferment before I can speak.
through this open world I'm a'bound...
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through this open world I'm a'bound...
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freyja__:
dont die please.
thanks.
thanks.
shivasshakti:
Good luck with all your travels...
Enjoy life - it's good!
Enjoy life - it's good!
This weekend I had the rare opprotunity to look through the old family bible, with notes and photographs going back to 1843. I' not normally one to concern myself with the past because it is fixed, untouchable, over; yet I was transfixed. The oddest details entranced me, the texture of the paper, the quality of the handwriting.
One photograph specificly caught my attention, some long...
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One photograph specificly caught my attention, some long...
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automatic:
The place is called Fife
palindrome:
You have a big nose!!
Bwaahaa!
Bwaahaa!
One week left.....
"I got ramblin,
I got ramblin on my mind,
I got ramblin,
I got ramblin on my mind,
I hate to leave ya pretty mama,
but you treat me so unkind"
"I got ramblin,
I got ramblin on my mind,
I got ramblin,
I got ramblin on my mind,
I hate to leave ya pretty mama,
but you treat me so unkind"
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automatic:
Have fun...
sofia6969:
I guess, really nothing, is keeping me here. I suppose, my family and friends.
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threestares:
you love the sense of isolation? i think that is interesting.
automatic:
I have just one thing to say- "Carbuncle" I'm not sure what it means. However, it is a whole lot of fun to say. Yep.
I'm off to the northwest to look for apartments and employment, wish me luck! I shall miss you all like I miss the figments of my imagination... untill sunday ciao!
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palindrome:
I love this city. I think we'll stay.
I love this city. I think we'll stay.
raizor:
Have a good search. Maybe a penthouse with a spa!
Where has my pretty mind gone?
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quinne:
they are old photos
i need a camera
i need a camera
thejuanupsman:
I have been thinking about trying to get out of the wedding. While it is true that no one can make me go, the fallout of not going is probably worse than what I would endure if I went. Still I may not go just on principle.
While I agree with much of what you say about change on an intellectual level, as I have grown older and more cautious, I have found I resist change more and more, until resisting change itself has become habit. I am well aware that my growing risk aversion is not a good thing. Yet the longer I do it the harder it becomes to, well, change I guess.
I prefer that change be forced upon me. I am better at adapting under pressure than I am by choice. Unfortunately the changes I would most welcome seem to become more and more unlikely to occur.
While I agree with much of what you say about change on an intellectual level, as I have grown older and more cautious, I have found I resist change more and more, until resisting change itself has become habit. I am well aware that my growing risk aversion is not a good thing. Yet the longer I do it the harder it becomes to, well, change I guess.
I prefer that change be forced upon me. I am better at adapting under pressure than I am by choice. Unfortunately the changes I would most welcome seem to become more and more unlikely to occur.
I'll buy you rope and twine,
buy it just for you climb,
and I'll do anything in this God almighty world,
If you just once drive me out of my mind
buy it just for you climb,
and I'll do anything in this God almighty world,
If you just once drive me out of my mind
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shivasshakti:
Hehe...I just thought I'd show off my ignorance. 
bunny:
Did you have to use Spanish at your former place of employment? I sure hope I don't lose my language abilities while I am back in the US. Lord knows, I already have lost a fair bit of my Japanese, and Spanish is sure to go fast if I don't do something about it.
The other day I was sitting at the cafe, every table was full and this pizza faced college freshman (I don't know for sure, but he looked young) asks if he can sit at my table. Of course I allow it, far be it from me to prevent somebody's studies.
I look up from my book a few minuts later and notice that he is...
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I look up from my book a few minuts later and notice that he is...
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figmentation:
heehee... I love it
shivasshakti:
Nice! Who can complain about a job they love? 
Last I night I had one of my random unexplainable bouts of insomnia. My body was asleep, but my mind was racing, tense, alert like some small mammal, sleeping with one eye open for fear of predetors. The neighbors were stomping around, doors slamming, toilets flushing, these sounds always leave a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. In the past I was left...
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jordan:
"Its strange how existentialism, sex and death are connected in my mind, especially at moments of shining brilliance." YUP. I understand that one. I loved your story, i hope you send me more. sorry it took me so long to get back to you, i have been a bit bogged down, but yeah, awesome.
shivasshakti:
You're right - life is beautiful. Sounds like you had a fun night!
Change excites me, I thrive on uncertainty, not knowing what tomorrow holds. In this sense I am a romantic, things can only get bigger and better because I refuse to accept less. I feel as is I have a boat on the Mediterranean and endless time. Fear feeds said excitement. As a human being I fear the unknown, but rather than letting it control me...
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rude_ruca:
I definately strive to embrace change with open arms. Also, one of my personal philosophies is that I shit on the people who tell me it could always be worse, because I KNOW things could always be better!
shivasshakti:
I've never actually read On the Road, or any Kerouac for that matter (I know, I know, sooo unAmerican, right? 
) , but I know that a lot of people who are into Henry Miller are into him, too. So I was just looking for another opinion.
[Edited on Apr 14, 2005 7:27PM]
) , but I know that a lot of people who are into Henry Miller are into him, too. So I was just looking for another opinion.
[Edited on Apr 14, 2005 7:27PM]
Music is the most divine of the arts. No other form of art connects so seamlessly the animal and the divine. It makes you feel alive, primal, Dionesyian, pulse quickens outside influences fade away until only the music and the performer remain. The soul hears the music, takes it, lifts beyond primal passion and puts the body somewhere infinatley higher.
When the show was over,...
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When the show was over,...
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shivasshakti:
That's funny that you mention Henry Miller - my boyfriend just gave me a copy of Tropic of Cancer, and I'm about halfway through it. I dig it so far!
I'll check out your essay, too.
Edit: I just saw the essay and I love it.
I especially liked this line: Such is why men like Alfred Perles and Henry Miller could engage in all manner of "obscenity" and still retain childlike innocence and saint like countenance.
I've always thought that it's amazing that some people can go through hell and come out the other side innocent as the day they were born.
Also, the knowledge/power/uselessness stuff gets me every time I think about it.
[Edited on Apr 13, 2005 4:28PM]
I'll check out your essay, too.
Edit: I just saw the essay and I love it.
I especially liked this line: Such is why men like Alfred Perles and Henry Miller could engage in all manner of "obscenity" and still retain childlike innocence and saint like countenance.
I've always thought that it's amazing that some people can go through hell and come out the other side innocent as the day they were born.
Also, the knowledge/power/uselessness stuff gets me every time I think about it.
[Edited on Apr 13, 2005 4:28PM]
rude_ruca:
I don't think there is any other high greater than the one I get on a day to day basis from my music listening. Damn, it should be illegal. I am such an addict. I may just need to quote this particular journal before doing my next music review. And I really should beef those up a little bit. Anyway, I enjoy what you write, thank you!