Friday Dec 13, 2002

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I have come to realize some horrible things about myself. It all began with a trip to the gap online store (I'm a yuppie chain supporting 3rd world worker enslaving selfish consumer, blah, blah, blah) to buy plain white t-shirts. To determine the correct size (I never know if I'm a medium or a small) I had to measure my torso.

After an hour of measuring body parts with Chloe and Veronica I have come to the following conclusions:

I have an enormous head.
I have dwarfishly short freak legs.
I have enormous hands.
My torso is way too long for the rest of my body.
I have oafish gigantic feet.
I have a tiny nose and forehead and miniscule ears.

I am a man without a community, shunned by regular people because of my dwarfishly short legs and shunned by dwarves for my freakishly long torso.

I am a horrible genetic mutant. Chloe and Veronica find this hilarious.
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
zanarki:
Yeah, when I saw you at Dante's last week, I was thinking damn that guy looks familiar... is that Spooky? Naw, he looks kinda like a Dwarf on roids... couldn't be Spooky. But come to think of it, the first time I met you.... you were sitting down. So you looked like a strapping young buck from the torso up. I knew SOMETHING was wrong with you, but I just couldn't quite figure it out til now. wink

*note to self - buy Spooky shoe lifts for X-mas*
unclegraysius:
You are not a genetic mutant.

You are a cartoon.

You are not horrible.

You are just drawn that way.

Chloe and Veronica are not hilarious.

Chloe and Veronica are Empiricists.

You are not without a community.

You are without plain white t-shirts.

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