schleprock

No, my depression has nothing to do with you. Silly boy.

I can hug my kitties, but Hell Pup is at the vet overnight tonight. She is getting fixed (a.k.a. "broken") tomorrow while I'm in SF with my mother (she is getting her surgery tomorrow). I will come back to a non-fertile pup.

Need to go to bed now. Gotta get up at 4am!!! Eek!

Much to you. You are in my thoughts always.

glad to hear you're considering going back to school. made all the difference for me. now i teach and i love it. in fact, that's a big reason why i must go. keeping up on sg is too distracting from my grading-homework duties. thank you for the kind send-off. i will be perusing the boards now and then as i always have done, and journals that opt for public view. keep making plans, keep your chin up, keep the faith!

Jeez! You are making me worry big time about you.

One - you are NOT going to kill yourself. I refuse to have that happen!!! I would be so very upset. How would you like to set off a chain reaction of suicide?

Two - If worst came to worst, I would take Taco.

Are you on your meds? Do you need $$ for them? I will give you $$, Rodney. Nothing is worth feeling so hopeless and down. If it's just a silly matter of $$ that can make things better, I'll give it to you, loan it to you, whatever you feel comfortable with. I am serious. I care about you and I want you to be okay.

Much and

Thanks for your comment. Good luck with finding a job, I know what it's like to be wallowing in unemployment. It took me a good couple of months to find even a menial job in the shithole I live in.

I miss talking to you too!

I've just pulled back a little from everyone in the world. I'm tired all the time and tend to hermit (as if you didn't know).

I've been reading your journals though, hoping that you find a job that you like and hoping all is well with you (and Taco).

I know that the kissing will never happen with the co-wker. She is not bi or anything. I was just hoping that there was enough wine in the world to make her open to the idea. It's only wishful thinking. I'll be sure to tell you how it goes.

Goodnight. Gonna try to read now.

ahhh...lancaster. thanks for helping me remember the eastside, which to me brings up images of the av fairgrounds (mmm i can smell those tacos!) and that old dairy you could drive up and get fresh milk from. it's nice to swap stories of the mojave desert now and then - may i add you to my friends list? i'm not sure what the protocol is around here about listing friends, but i thought it would at least be polite to ask first. i guess i'm not one to befriend people indiscriminately, but want to have a good reason for it, and swapping tales of the mysterious skunkworks with a kind person such as yourself is reason enough for me!

smart thinking. good idea. glad to hear it. and thanks for writing me a comment! when you were 4, i lived in quartz hill way up in the poppy fields, near 70th st. w. and ave. m. i used to ride a dirt bike all over the aqueduct. around there used to be this big old rusted-out water tank that kids called 'the echo chamber' - where they'd go to make out. earlier, i lived on j-14 near w. ave. k, and captain beefheart lived a few doors down and would practice with his band in his garage, despite how all us neighborhood kids harrassed the band relentlessly by running in and stealing stuff off their equipment. they were always chasing us out of the yard, threatening to slash us with various power tools.

oops...put this post on the wrong date...so i moved it!

[Edited on Nov 22, 2003 3:04AM]

Just remember man, it could always be worse, you could be Micheal Jackson.

Seriosly though, best of luck on the holiday work.

Give it a big ol' FUCK one more time. I find it helps.

i've been reading about your recent troubles, and even though we don't know each other i wanted to say that you sound like a very nice man and you deserve to be happy, so i hope things start looking up for you. don't discount the option of appealing your claim at unemployment - i did twice and won both times. one of the times was right there in lancaster, where i'm from (though it was long ago). anyway, best of luck to you.

A sex dream with Kelly Osbourne!?!

Jesus Christ, man, are you all right?

Do you need me to call someone for you? Your dad? A doctor? A priest to perform an exorcism, maybe?

I can't say i'd like to fuck her, but i would stick my dick in her mouth to shut her up!

Hang in there brother.

I know its gotta hurt like a bitch what with her rejecting you like she did but try to look at it from a positive point of view, at least you found out now that it's not gonna work out rather than later when you would have been even more attached and emotionally invested.

At the risk of sounding like a really bad Hallmark card, things really will come back around for ya.

Aw jeezuz man, i'm sorry to hear that.

You are right about one thing though, at least she was honet with you. I have a bit of experience with being lied to by girlfriends, especially where things that have broken us up are concerned. Maybe if nothing else you can make the headway only a clean break can grant you, not having to find some sort of closure on the whole thing.

This girl obviously didn't know what she had in you or she's like so many other women i've known and you were just, in all honesty, to damn good for her.

Anyways, nothing i or anyone else can say is probably gonna do you any good right now, just know you got people out here who relate with you and feel your pain. Remember if you need an ear to bend i'm right around the e-corner, brother. Take care.

*edited 'cause i can't be bothered by good grammar*

[Edited on Nov 16, 2003 7:17AM]