rylie

my soul is being devoured by my own inability to let go of my control, while trying so hard to gain some.

I need to breath deeper, but all the air around me mysteriously lacks smoke.

And I'm on a nic-fit baby.

I hate when I forget to be an intelligent girl and I do something like forget to eat. and then I go out and I drink. and then I come home to sleep and wake up with my body PISSED.

My body wants to detox, but I have no food in me to extinguish of.

So, alas, I feel a lil like death.

But my...
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you know what makes me happy?

when at 2am on a school night a boy that I care for with more than all of my heart FINALLY has the talk with me that I've been wanting to have for about 3 weeks.

Verdict: things are FINALLY right between us.

Drama is to end!

I will now resume my normally sane and happy life!

and may...
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Alright, so all comments aside, I do stupid shit when I'm drunk, and I take other peoples actions too personally. last night was just a little more extreme than most.

A good seven months being fine and one offhand comment from a friens this week sends me over the edge.

like I said, I take shit too personally.

Bad Llama.

moving on...

shit, and I'm back to cuttiing....

It's been a good day, untill about ten minutes ago when a need to escape overwhelmed me. I immediately went to apartments.com and started quoting apartment prices around the country...

anyone else wanna spend a couple months paying off debts, and saving up so they can escape with me?

you can pick, california or new york. it's up to you.

...or maybe chicago.

one more try..

The soundtrack to your life.
I lifted this from lego's journal.



OPENING CREDITS: "when I grow Up" Garbage

WAKING UP SCENE: "wake me up before you go" Wham

CAR DRIVING SCENES: "Uptown Subway" Discount

HIGH SCHOOL FLASHBACK SCENE: "The Prayer" Josh Groban and Charlotte Church

NOSTALGIC SCENES: "Shit on The Radio" Nelly Furtado

BITTER/ANGER SCENES: "Every You Every me" Placebo

MAD AT FRIENDS SCENES:...
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