reverendbenzo

I don't want to be forgotten. Forever damned to live my life in the
shadows of a biased yearbook, by which by my picture it simply said Ben
went to school here. To have my gavestone's epitath scream out the same
sentiments, "he lived for a while then died", and to be chunked in a rectangular
hole where stray dogs piss on the flowers on...
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What a week. I had a huge beef with my dad and now I'm not invited to my nephew's 3rd birthday party. I had to leave work early because of chest pains and dizziness. I will probably be homeless at the end of the month. My shower quit working. I have a new reason to hate Christianity. I lost my Kingdom Hearts game. I'm STILL...
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I had a meatball sub earlier tonight. It was the first thing I had to eat since Wed. night.I haven't been sick or anything (except for the tightness in my chest) I just haven't wanted to eat. After a while it taste the same. It feels like the same molten mass in my stomach. Itfeels it same as it digests, the only difference is the...
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Twenty first century American culture is a cheap knock-off of Hell. A plastic Hollywood built set of one of Dante's seven levels. I think if Dante lived as a contemporary, he would be find us too silly to be horrific and not worth the paper it would take to write about us. He would probably live out his days as a successful furniture salesman wondering...
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Damn it. I've had this weird pounding in my chest for two straight days. I thought maybe it was nerves or anxiety but it's doing it right now and I'm not particualrly anxious. Great, I'm dying. I also keep thinking it's Sunday but it's Tuesday.

Last night I dreamed I died and went to hell. It wasn't particularly scary, however. It was bascially just me walking around lonely and wishing I was somewhere else. Shit that's no different from what I have now. I also remember there was a bunch of smoke and mirrors and rusty grates but that's probably just a carry over from playing Silent Hill until 2...
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My mind is a blank right now. I need to update this because the last post pertained to my lonliness on a Saturday night. Since it is now Monday afternoon that post has become an anacronism. I was going to talk about how I am tired and glad I don't have to work tonight and how my landlandy's dog woke me up at 8am but...
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Ah, Saturday night! Time to curl up with a good book. And a box of *sob* TISSUES!!

Ugh. You'd think I'd be used to this lonliness thing by now. I'm not. I get so jealous of the guys I see talking so easily to everyone especially to the opposite sex. I will die alone and unhappy. I'm going to go to work now and argue with the ghetto-folk about the $3 they owe us. Toodles. (toodles??)

I think our generation has been convinced to believe that since we didn't grow up during the depression or fight in 'Nam that we only deserve to work very hard for minimal payout. I also think that we have convinced ourselves that wanting things is shallow and purely materialistic. I think wanting things is natural and goes back to the basic emotions of desire and...
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Well this is great, I may not have a place to live soon. I've known for months that my landlady was moving to Colorado but it was also my understanding that she would probably sell her house but Wanda (her mom) would keep control over the house I live in and I would pay her rent. Well earlier tonight (or rather last night since it's...
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The writer's block has subsided and now a new problem has arisen. Fear. A weird kind of fear that's hard to explain properly. I have 3 ideas for works arranging from app. 20-100 pages. One idea is okay but played out. But I really like the other two. The ideas are there but I'm having trouble getting it from my brain onto the page. Today...
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