oz_the_vamp

I just spent a grueling two days in the heart of the midwest, Kansas, or as I like to pronounce it, KansASS. I've never seen so much corn in my entire life! To the left... corn. To the right... corn. In front of you... guess what... more corn! Up your ass... you guessed it, a big ear of corn! Did I mention the CORN?!?!?!?! Now...
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[Rant]
Ok, I live at the end of my block. On the other end of the block, about 13 house down, there is a Dairy Queen across the street. Why does the goddamn ice cream man drive his truck up and down my street 132945 times a day? I mean if I were a kid, and I had to choose between a push-pop or a...
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UGH! My house is killing me. It's 90F outside today, and my central air is almost broken. It makes funny noises while trying to start up, and then finally starts up after about 45-90 minutes, after many attempts. The drain from my clothes washer is backing up too, causing sudsy dirty clothes water to back up into my basement. UGH!!!

But for the good news,...
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Ever since I was a kid I've wanted a Gibson Les Paul. Since the time I was 12 or 13 years old in 8th grade, I can remember going into the guitar store at the local mall and drooling over the multitudes of Les Pauls on the wall, knowing that it would take more than saving up allowances, washing cars and mowing lawns to finally...
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I'm disgusting. I am abso-fucking-lutely disgusting. I've just done the most disgusting thing of my life. A thing so disgusting I can't even put it into print. I think I need a memory wipe to get rid of the last 5 hours. YUCK. I hate myself.

Followed by more:

I am officially relationship challenged. I've been observing this behavior for quite some time now, but the latest version of the break-up scenario made it so very clear.
The things I've figured out about me through the women I've dated:
1. If things don't turn to sex on the first date, I'm only good for 3 dates... at most.
2. If things do turn to...
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The guy from eBay turned me in for having a "fraudulent auction" even though he's the one who misread the listing. Granted, there's nothing fraudulent about my listing and I'm sure eBay will rule in my favor, but this guy is a real motherfucking douchebag.

Ok, I have been selling concert tickets on E-bay. I had a bidder win an auction for a floor seat ticket to see Pearl Jam here in Cleveland next month. Now, this bidder wants me to refund his money because he thought my auction was for multiple tickets. My auction CLEARLY states:
"Number of Tickets: 1

Awesome floor seat for Pearl Jam at Quicken Loans...
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The Strokes show was the tits. I absolutely love shows at the Agora. It's long been my favorite venue. Only to make it better, I had the most amazingly beautiful young lady with me. Infatuation is a great thing!
Maybe I'll be able to talk her into posing for a set.

I finally got Strokes tickets on Ebay. Finally no stupid motherfuckers tried to outbid me and drive the ticket price up over $100.