octoberseven

A little pumpkin head occupies my thoughts.

I smoke when I drink, I smoke when I'm angry, I smoke when I'm depressed, I smoke when I'm bored. What was once casual has become habitual.

I feel like a meat battery just waiting to run out.

Some days you just really want to shut out the rest of the world...

Got most of Laurinda's stuff moved in yesterday. Well, the heaviest stuff anyway. She isn't staying there just yet, but should be by Monday. Her dad's is taking her this weekend to buy the rest of what she needs for her place.

Just got back in. Been with Laurinda since around 4:00 this evening. First we got some things and started to set up her apartment a little. Then we ate dinner here and hung out here for a while. Then we went out with some friends drinking, playing pool, and watching the drag queen show at DV8 (a local club here). Now here I am back...
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Where have all my friends gone? Online and in real life, nobody seems to want to talk or hang out anymore.

I usually have really weird, fucked up dreams. Even if they're not scary, they're still fucked up. But here lately I've been having the most wonderful, pleasant dreams I've had in a long time. I guess it's because I'm actually somewhat happy for a change.

Laurinda picks up the key to her apartment tomorrow. I think she plans to be completely moved in by the weekend.

I hope everyone had a happy Valentine's Day. I spent mine with Laurinda. We had a great time together, we always do. It's going slow, but steady. Which is good, that's how things have to move for now. We're kinda somewhere in that grey area between friendship and relationship.

Got wonderful news today. Laurinda and her baby will be moving into an apartment here in Brookport later this month. So now she'll only be a few blocks from me, instead of in the next town. This makes me really happy.

Why do we spend our lives trying to figure out life? Why are people so hard to figure out? Why do we place great stress and burdens upon ourselves? Why do we allow things to slowly seep the life out of us? Why do we stumble our way through the world oblivious to others? Why do we obsess over material things when such things are...
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